Page 304 of As the Rain Falls
“You’re, like, obviouslyglaringat her. Honestly, if looks could kill, I mean.”
Angelina’s grin is so bright, making her round doll eyes disappear as she smiles at me. I pout, unwilling to admit defeat, and give her the tongue like a six-year-old child. She gives me the tongue back, no hesitation with stooping down to my level.
“Ah-ha! I knew it! It’s really showing on your face!”
A pigeon flies high above us, and Pepé chases after him, barking happily, because dogs can’t get boyfriends or feeljealousy. I check my phone for the eleventh time before looking at him again. Beckett leans closer to her, checking her tattoo, and yeah, that gets me to look away.
My heart shatters in my chest, the worst kind of pain imaginable, and even avoidingstaringright at them doesn’t make it any less hurtful. Caleb picking another girl over me was nothing close to this. Beckett is reaching a place inside of me other boys never did.
I don’t like how vulnerable it makes me feel, how sensitive I get about him sometimes. I feel prickly, childish, and whiny. All the words people like to use for girls that are particularly annoying and sensitive, and…
God, am I really becoming this crazy boy-obsessed girl again?
“Alright.” I rise from my chair, readjusting my bikini to cover the sides of my breasts before taking my beach purse with me. “I’m done.”
Angelina stops flipping her magazine to give me a quick, incredulous glance. “Wait, wait, wait!” Her face is bright red because her skin doesn’t tan, not even after long hours under the sun. “Are you leaving me alone with your man?”
I pull my lower lashes down, cleaning up the smudged black mascara in my outer corner. I’m starting to regret putting on makeup today, but I wanted to look good, and it wasn’t going to happen with a fresh face.
She scratches the top of her head when I don’t say anything in response, her high ponytail slowly dropping to the back of her neck. “Cassandra, hey. You know I was just messing with you, right?”
I watch her take a look above her shoulders, shooting a quick glance at Beckett and Olivia. because they’restillsomehow finding things to talk about. Like, just go ahead and date her instead, if she’sthatinteresting.
Angelina groans, “Look at them! They’re really justtalking!”
Doesn’t she know thattalkingis the worst thing they could be doing right now? That’s how Beckett flirts and falls in love. Throughtalking.
“Great, but I still want to leave,” I insist, not wanting to hear any more of this. “I don’t want to stay here watching him flirt with somebody else. I’m done, okay?”
My phone buzzes in my hand. I check who’s texting me. Delete the text. This seems to set her off for some reason.
“Are you really going to meet some guy?”
And now I’m the whore again.
Itwasa guy, but no. I won’t. In fact, since André, I haven’t slept with a single guy in town. The only boy who sees me, touches me, or comes close to making me feel anything is talking to another girl. Beckett should be talking tomeinstead, laughing atmysilly jokes.
“Will you stop stressing?” I take my towel and start trying to get the sand off it. “You’re starting to sound a lot like Kayla.”
“Well, she has a point, you know.”
Angelina reaches out, her fingers gently tapping where my concealer is supposed to be, blending it out.
“Do you guys keep a group chat that I don’t know of?” I roll my eyes, giving her space to fix me up. “S-O-S Cassandra Emergency?”
“Don’t get defensive about it. I’m not even the reason why you’re upset!” She snaps back, as gently as she can. “Is Beckett even okay with you still texting other boys?”
I try not to show any reaction, but the snort comes out of me without me meaning to. My friend frowns worriedly. “I’m not joking, Cassandra. I’m being very serious—”
“That’s not why I’m laughing. I’m not seeing anyone but him. I can’t believe you’re implying otherwise,” I cut her off,swallowing the lump that’s forming on my throat. “It’s just… I think maybe Beckett likes her.”
“What… What are you even talking about?” Her eyes go round, her hand freezing against my face. “You really think he’d do that to you? Cheat on you?”
“God, don’t you get it?” I swallow hard, overly upset about this. I’m getting in my head the longer I stay here. I just need some space to breathe, to think this through. “Maybe I was too forward, he lost interest.”
“What? But he’s withyou.” She rolls her eyes and takes my stuff from me, settling my purse back on the sand. “God, Cassandra. You can’t keep doing this to yourself. Listen to me, okay? You’re going to put a smile on your face and go get what’s yours right now, or I will seriously slap you for a second time.”
“What’s mine?” I echo. “Beckett is not mine.”
