Page 20 of Sunday

“You need a test.”

“I don’t need a test.”

“You need a test.”

Cedar bounced up, grabbed his keys, and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?”

“To get a pregnancy test.”

Cedar

I returned from the pharmacy with five pregnancy tests.

“Which one do you want to start with?”

Sunday’s eyes ballooned when I shook the pregnancy tests out of the plastic bag.

“What are you doing?”

“Seeking an absolute answer to a question that neither of us are sure about.”

“I’m sure.”

She pressed a hand and looked at me with pleading eyes. I saw the fear resting there. It had been there the minute that Janae suggested that Sunday might be pregnant. It had been fleeting, but I had seen it. It was back now that I sat in front of her with these tests.

“I’m not pregnant, Cedar.”

“If that’s true, then you shouldn’t be afraid to take these tests. Let’s get it out of the way and put my mind at ease, if not yours. Either you’re dying from some devastating flu, or you’re carrying my seed. I’d like to know either way. I mean, shit, . . . I need to run like hell or hunker down.”

She stared at the tests, splayed her hands over the boxes, and looked back up at me again.

“You’re serious about this, aren’t you?”

“Sunny, you’ve been sick for the last few weeks. I’ve done everything that I can to help you feel better, and it’s not helping. You won’t go to the doctor. You gotta do something.”

“So, this is your cure-all?”

“No, this is me trying to find definitive answers. This is just one step on the journey. If they’re all negative, then we’ll go to the doctor’s office.”

Sunday dropped her head into her hands. We were sitting at the dining room table. I scooted my chair closer to her and wrapped her in my arms. I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. I knew she was scared. She had to be. I was scared shitless. I wanted her to be okay, and I knew that neither of us was ready for a kid. But I’d do what I needed to make sure that she was okay no matter what.

Sunday’s shoulders shook.

“Shh. Everything is going to be okay, one way or another.”

“I’m not ready for a kid, Cedar. And you’re clearly not.”

“I’m ready for whatever God puts on my shoulders, Sunday. It’s not like I haven’t wanted one, just under different circumstances. Besides, He doesn’t make mistakes, and neither one of us did anything to prevent this. I never even bothered to ask if you were on birth control.”

“I had no reason to be. I’ve had sex with three men. Both of them were during my college years. I’ve dated, but I’ve been abstinent for the last three years since college. Why would I need birth control?”

“For situations like ours.”

“You’re right.”

Her voice was thick, and I could tell that she was battling tears.

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