Page 21 of Sunday

“Sunday, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m not pregnant.”

“Just do it to rule out the possibility and put my mind at ease. Please.”

“What if I am, though, Cedar?”

“Then, we’re going to take care of this baby and raise our child in a happy home. I’ll do whatever it takes to make life easy and comfortable for you and my little one. Trust me, you won’t have anything to worry about. You and my seed will carry my last name. I ain’t gon’ let my wife and child lack for anything. You hear me?”

I turned her head so that she could see the sincerity in my eyes. I leaned forward and rested my forehead against hers. I knew that my mental state wasn’t ready for a wife and kid, but if that was what His will was, then that was what it would be. I was certain Sunday would make a much better wife than Taylor had.

I’d bet that was all the excuse you need to dig up in them guts again, that little devil on my shoulder argued.

“Okay,” she agreed.

I grabbed the pregnancy tests and led the way to her bedroom. She followed me and stood by the sink while I laid each test out on the counter.

I read the testing instructions aloud and handed her the first one.

“Can you please step out?” she asked softly.

I stepped out and took a seat on her bed as she closed and locked the door behind me. I leaned forward with my elbows resting on my knees, and I clasped my hands nervously. I tried to think positive thoughts.

“You okay in there?” I hollered after two minutes.

“Yes.”

“What’re you doing?”

“Taking the tests.” Her voice sounded nervous and frustrated.

I dropped my head and stared at the carpet at my feet. What the hell was I going to do with a kid? I knew that I could take care of one financially. That was not my worry. My concern was how I would take care of a kid emotionally when I was messed upmyself. The day that she mentioned therapy, I knew that Sunday was right, but I wasn’t ready to head down that corridor.

“Lord, help me do what’s right by this kid and be the best father I can, if it’s Your will. Help me move beyond my past and find healing by Your grace. But, Lord, keep me from damaging Sunday’s heart just because mine has been,” I prayed.

Another three minutes passed, and my phone rang. I was surprised to see Taylor’s name pop up. How ironic the timing was.

I stood and walked out of the bedroom and headed into my bedroom. I wanted to be close by in case she called my name.

I stared at Taylor’s name for several seconds and finally answered just before it went to voicemail.

“Yeah.”

Sunday & Cedar

Sunday

Istared at the first pregnancy stick with trembling hands. I hadn’t opened the box immediately because I was uncertain if I wanted to take the test. Although I wouldn’t admit it aloud, deep inside, I already knew the answer.

Yes, I did have an irregular cycle, but that, paired with how sick I had been and no one else had caught it, let me know what was going on with my body. My breasts were tender, and my emotions were a bit on edge.

I had never been an overly emotional girl until lately. The part that I hadn’t said anything to anyone about was how my sense of smell had changed. That was how I knew that something was off. I could no longer tolerate the scent of Celine’s perfume, the smell of cooked onions and garlic, the aroma of Indian food, or the taste of my favorite food, pizza with pineapples and chicken.

When those things changed, it was like a red flag waving, and I had pushed it down and out of sight. Now, I stood with not one, not two, but five pregnancy tests in the bathroom withme. I knew the moment that I took the first test that there would be no going back. I was certain they would all have the same results, and whatever those results were, my life would be forever changed.

I needed another minute in the solace of being Sunday Birgitta Monroe. The chick who was the only girl, spoiled by her mother, father, and brothers. The girl who could afford to be independent and yet who could be uncompromising, temperamental, and aloof would have to grow up.

“Dear God. Please let it just be a pregnancy scare. I promise that I’ll get my act together, and I’ll never do something this foolish again.”

---