Page 32 of Sunday

“Obligated?”

“Yeah. I mean, I know that you’ve mentioned wanting a family before, but I know that you didn’t mean it this way. You wanted a wife, a home, and the kids. Not a random baby with your roommate, but a baby with a woman you love.”

I turned around and stalked to where she sat.

“Let that stupid shit come out of your mouth again, Sunny, and I’ma have to cuss your ass out.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Ain’t shit that I created random. I don’t give a damn if it wasn’t planned. And you’re not random, so don’t talk about yourself that way.”

Her eyes welled with tears, and while I felt somewhat bad for my harsh reaction, I needed her to know how serious I was.

“I’m just saying that I don’t want you to feel tied to me or this baby, Cedar. I know that it’s going to be a lot, and it’s taking your life in a direction that you didn’t see coming. One day, you’ll fall in love with some woman and want to marry her. A baby mama and an outside baby could complicate matters with a new family. I just don’t want you to have any regrets.”

“I’m not on that shit, Sunny.IfI ever fall in love again, I seriously doubt that it would be with someone who couldn’t accept my child or the relationship that I have with my child’s mama. If so, she ain’t the woman for me.”

I sat down in front of her and held her hands.

“Listen, you gotta stop this negative shit. We both lay down and created this baby.”

“We didn’t exactly lay down. We were standing up . . . right over there,” she argued and pointed over my shoulder.

I mugged her. “Point is, . . . neither of us thought about using protection or considering it. We were foolish, caught up in the moment, and had sex. We knew the risks. So, how could I possibly be upset? Besides, from where I sit, when I think of all the women I’ve messed with in the past, including my ex-wife, I couldn’t have chosen a better woman to be the mother of my son.”

The tears that had welled in her eyes before spilled over now. I wiped them gently with my thumbpads. It took everything in me not to kiss her.

“God, who made you so sweet, and how did she mess over an incredibly amazing man?” Sunday whispered as I leaned in and kissed her forehead.

Shrugging, I stood and went back to the stove. I removed the bacon, set it on a paper towel-covered plate, and buttered another pan for the eggs.

“I’m sorry, Cedar.”

“You should be. That baby needs nothing but love and peace. It needs to feel it from the womb and come into this world in a peaceful environment. Our baby will know and feel our love every moment of its life, and for that to happen, you gotta quit thinking negative thoughts and doubting shit. You feel me?” I asked as I poured the eggs into the skillet.

“Yeah,” she replied softly.

“A’ight. If you have concerns or doubts, what are you gonna do with them, Sunny?”

“Come and talk to you.”

“Good.”

I finished off the eggs and pulled together the bacon, egg, and cheese toast sandwiches while she poured us two glasses of juice. When she finished, I handed her a plate and took one for myself. We headed into the living room and sat down to eat in silence. I was sure she was thinking about all this just as I was.

I was honest when I said that I couldn’t see myself falling in love with a woman who didn’t accept my kid and my relationship with Sunday. Hell, I couldn’t see myself falling for a woman who didn’tlovemy kid. And if I was being all the way honest, I didn’t see myself falling in love again. That shit hurt too deeply.

When we finished our food, I took the plates and cups back to the kitchen, rinsed them, and set them in the dishwasher.

“Still wired?” I asked when I returned to the living room.

“Not completely. I’m getting sleepy.” She yawned and covered her mouth with her fist.

I sat on the other end of the couch. “Give me your feet.”

“What?”

“Give me your feet. I can help you relax.”

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