Page 53 of Sunday

“And other days, it feels like you’ve been pregnant all your life,” Janae joked.

“Exactly.”

We stepped off the escalator and made our way by some of my favorite stores, like Dreams, End Zone, Frankies, and The Bayou, which I no longer frequented because I couldn’t fit their clothes.

“Can’t wait till next summer to be back in The Bayou. My first trip will be to the beach, and I’m wearing a two-piece. This snapback better be something fierce.”

“It may not happen overnight. Let me warn you now so you don’t get your hopes up and be disappointed. You’re gonna have to put the work in,” Janae warned.

“Oh, for sure. I know that I’ll have to change my diet and exercise. The way this boy has me eating right now has me looking like a big back.”

“He might be a wide receiver like Cedar was in college.”

“Or have me looking like one,” I muttered and rolled my eyes.

“He’s so cute. The way he waits on you and takes care of you is the cutest thing. I love seeing how you two love each other.”

“Yeah, I guess.” I rubbed my back as we headed into the baby store.

“Uh-oh. There’s no way there’s trouble in paradise, I know.”

“I don’t know, Nae.”

“Listen, it’s okay to be emotional or have your hormones all over the place right now. We second-guess and question a lot of things when we’re pregnant. That’s normal, honey.”

I lifted a little blue sailor suit and held it up. “Isn’t this just the cutest?”

“It is. I’m about to spoil my little nephew rotten.”

“I’m glad Janaya will have someone to play with.”

“More like someone to boss around. I had to remind that little thang the other day that I’m the mama, not her.”

I giggled because Janaya was a bossy little something. She spoke so well for a two-year-old and knew too much. But I knew that was because when she wasn’t in daycare, she was around nothing but adults.

I rubbed my belly and sighed again as I thought about our son. A long time ago, I planned to have my children no more than two years apart. But now, I wasn’t so sure what would happen in the future, and this little guy might be the only child for several years to come.

Janae rubbed my arm. “Honey, what’s going on?”

I grabbed a little Nikaj jogging suit and moved to another section of the store.

“It’s Cedar. I don’t like the way he’s acting lately. It’s like we were best friends, got along so well, but in this relationship, he’s become someone else.”

“Like?”

“I don’t know. He’s become very controlling and dominant.”

“He’s protective of you and your little guy, Sunday. Welcome and embrace that. Be thankful that you have him in your life and that you aren’t doing this alone.”

Janae picked up a couple of infant boy outfits in baby blue and sage green.

“It’s not that simple, Janae.”

“Then what is it?”

“I feel like he hasn’t completely healed from his ex-wife, Taylor. He’s triggered over every little thing and thrown back to another place in time.”

“Damn, you make him sound like a wounded war vet.”