Page 62 of Sunday

I hadn’t slept upstairs since Sunday left two days ago. There was no reason to when I knew that I would be sniffing the damn covers and pillows for a hint of her scent. I frowned when I saw Taylor’s name on my caller ID.

What the hell did she want?

“Yo.”

“Is that how you answer your phone now?”

“When I’m paying the bill.”

“Oo-kay. Someone’s not in the best mood. Maybe I should call you back at a better time.”

“What’s up, Taylor?”

“I was calling you to let you know that Monica and I found someone to help us have a baby.”

“Good for you. I hope you two are happy.”

“What’s going on, Cedar? The last time that we spoke, you weren’t this abrasive.”

“What do you want from me, Taylor? I’m not on this friendly shit you’re on. I need you to keep the same energy you had when you was telling my ass to get a life and to stay outta yours.”

“I was wrong, Cedar, for the way I treated you. My guilt caused me to lash out at you, and you didn’t deserve that. You didn’t deserve the way I treated our marriage and the disrespect I showed you. But I can’t help but point the finger at you for where we stand today.”

“What the fuck you say to me?”

“You heard me. I messed up, Cedar. Instead of coming to you like a woman and being open and honest with you, I snuck around behind your back. I betrayed our marriage vows and our friendship. I have no one to blame but me. You were a good man—one I didn’t deserve.”

“Can we get to the point about you pointing the finger at me?”

“Yes. I messed up, and when I finally accepted that truth and came to you to discuss it, you wanted no part of it. I know that I hurt you, and I deserve your anger for it. But at what point do you let go of the past, Cedar, and forgive a person for their failings? I never claimed to be perfect. I didn’t know how to let go of what we’d built. We had been together since our junior year of college. You were all that I knew. The only man I’d ever been with, my first love, and my best friend.”

“Nah, you saved that shit for Monica.”

“Okay, I deserve that. But what I’m trying to say is that we planned and built a beautiful life together. It was supposed to be lasting, but I snatched it away.”

“Did you always have those feelings, Taylor?”

She sighed dramatically into the phone and then blew her lips.

“I always had curiosities. But I hoped that they would go away, especially after getting married. Sometimes, I thoughtabout us having a threesome, but I couldn’t gather the courage to ask you. Then I thought about how difficult it would be if she preferred you over me or vice versa. So, I left that Pandora’s box closed.”

“I would have been open to anything that you wanted to try if it meant preserving our marriage, Taylor.”

“I know that now, but I didn’t know that then. Besides, it wouldn’t have been enough. As time passed, you would have realized that it wasn’t enough.”

“You’re right. You wanted what you wanted, and I wasn’t interested in being a part of that shit . . . What they call it when there are three people in a relationship?”

“A throuple.”

“Yeah. I want what I want, and what’s mine is all mine. I don’t believe in sharing.”

“I know. In that scenario, someone will always get hurt.” Taylor agreed in a soft voice.

I sighed, went into the kitchen, grabbed another beer, and popped the top. I’d drunk more beers tonight than I normally would.

“Someone still ended up hurt,” I mumbled.

“I’m so sorry, Cedar.”

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