Page 63 of Sunday

“Are you really, though?”

“I am. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I let my selfish desires get in the way. You are so loving and so kind. I pray that things work out with you and Sunday. You deserve a good woman who loves, respects, and honors you.”

I had told Taylor about Sunday and me having a baby a while back, but I hadn’t shared our challenges.

“Yeah, well, that’s out the window.” I pulled the beer to my lips and chugged some down. The icy coldness of the beer felt good going down my throat.

“What happened?”

“Shit. What always happens? You women find another woman who understands your emotions, I guess. And then you trade ya man in for the woman.”

“Wait a second. Back the hell up. What are you saying here?”

“I’m saying that I’m back in the same situation with Sunday that I was with you.”

“Hell no. You’re reading something way off. There’s no way that Sunday is gay.”

“How do you know that? You telling me that you can home in on all gay women?”

“No. But I can promise you that she’s not. Call it a woman’s intuition or whatever, but she’s not gay, Cedar. I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but it’s not that.”

“I hear you, but I’m not so sure.”

“What happened?”

I shared with her everything that we’d been going through, all the way up to me showing my ass at Sunday’s parents’ home. When I finished telling her the story, she clucked her tongue.

“What’s that about?”

“You are so triggered right now. I think that you’re scared of getting into another relationship because of what we went through. At the first sign of trouble, you want to run because you don’t want to be hurt again. You’re relaying all your fears of our past into this situation with Sunday. I’m not saying that something isn’t wrong and that you shouldn’t look into it, but it’s not what you’re thinking.”

“She kept getting upset with me, accusing me of controlling her, and she’s not sharing shit with me. I have no idea what she’s up to, but whoever this chick is she’s hanging with isn’t good for our relationship.”

“Talk to her, Cedar.”

“I’ve tried, Taylor. She won’t take my calls or texts.”

“Stop accusing her of my sins when you do talk to her. That would aggravate the shit out of me, too, if someone compared me with their ex constantly. You don’t do that shit with women. When you’re constantly comparing a woman to another woman, that shit will fire her up and cause her to explode on you. There’s nothing we hate more than being compared because it makes us feel like you’re not over that other woman.”

“I’m over you.”

“Are you? Because if you’re comparing the two of us, it doesn’t look like it to me or her.”

“If she didn’t do some of the same shit, I wouldn’t.”

“She’s not doing the same thing, Cedar. From everything that you’ve shared with me, she’s moving differently than you’re used to, but not my shit. Just close. You have something beautiful with Sunday. Don’t ruin it with your insecurities and triggers.”

I blew out a long breath. I hated to admit it, but I knew she was right. “I can only hope she’ll eventually talk to me again.”

“She will. She’s just mad right now. How’s the little one baking?”

“My big guy is coming along well. I mean, I haven’t seen her in a couple of days, but he was doing very well the last time I saw her. I can’t believe that I’m about to have a kid, Taylor.”

“I can’t believe that either of us are about to have one.”

“What are you hoping for?”

“A healthy baby to love.”

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