Page 68 of Sunday

I sighed. “You’re right. I did not and would never cheat on you. I’m not attracted to females. You’re the one I love, CJ, and who I want to make a family with.”

“What the hell is going on with you and this girl then? It’s like you’re hiding some secret with her away from me, and I’on like that shit, Sunny.”

Pushing my plate away from me, I folded my arms on the table and stared into his eyes. “What I’m about to tell you will take a while. Please don’t stop me, or I might lose the courage to do so.”

Although he kept staring at me, he didn’t speak a word.

“When I was seventeen, I went through a wild phase. I dated a drug dealer who was five years older than me. That was the guy I gave my virginity to. I snuck in and out of clubs with a fake ID.”

“You do realize that was a felony, right?”

“I knew. But I didn’t care. He had an older brother who was a cop with connections, and he got Derek out of so much stuff back then it wasn’t funny. We knew he’d come through for us too. I was drinking, and then Derek, the guy I was dating, got me hooked on pills. I was taking pills to get up and pills to lie down.

“One night, my best friend, Layla, and I went to a frat party where Derek was supplying drugs. It was close to the end of the school year, and I had popped some pills earlier in the day to help me through my final exams. After school, I went home and tried to relax because I knew that we’d be going out that night. I couldn’t, so I took some more pills to help me relax. We got up and headed out to the party.

“There was lots of alcohol when we got there, but I only had one cocktail. Later, Derek caught up with me and gave me some Mollies. He said it made sex better. I didn’t want to take them, but you didn’t say no to Derek, especially not me. So, I took them, and he took me to someone’s bedroom to have sex. I was wired, so he gave me something to calm me down. Right after that, Layla was ready to go, and I was scared I wouldn’t make it to her house.

“CJ, I fell asleep at the wheel that night, and I crashed into another car. Luckily, the other driver and passenger suffered no damage at all. I suffered no damage, but Layla did. She was temporarily paralyzed and unable to move. Layla was pregnant, and she lost her baby, CJ. All because of me, she lost her baby.”

I sobbed brokenly as if it had just happened again. Cedar moved to sit beside me. He pulled me out of my chair and onto his lap and wiped away my tears.

“Breathe, baby.”

Those were the only words that he spoke, but they were enough to calm me down and bring peace to my heart.

I nodded and inhaled deeply, held it for several seconds, and then slowly blew it out. I did that several times before I calmed myself down.

“She’s told me that in time, she was able to regain mobility, but then she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis not long after the accident. She’s lost the ability to walk again since the MS diagnosis.”

“What about you? Weren’t there any charges pressed?”

I shook my head.

“Derek’s brother worked with people behind the scenes to alter the toxicology report, paid witnesses to say that I wasn’t drinking or doing anything wrong at the party, and since I had genuinely fallen asleep at the wheel, it was considered an accident. Layla confirmed with the police that we were leaving because I was sleepy. She said I’d been studying hard for my tests, and I’d fallen asleep at the wheel.

“Everybody just assumed it was another hardworking student who hadn’t gotten enough sleep. That was the same story that was passed along to Layla’s parents, and they bought it. They were so devastated about their daughter they weren’t focused on pursuing charges against me.”

“Didn’t they have questions about it?”

“Not really. No. Her parents adored me, although her mother had begun to have some reservations about me when I became involved with Derek. She blamed me for Layla’s choices that led to her becoming pregnant. But our parents had been close up to that point, so they trusted that I hadn’t done anything to jeopardize their daughter’s safety during the accident. Layla was angry, but she didn’t want me to get in trouble. Even in her pain, she was concerned about me.”

“Did your parents know anything?”

“I confessed everything a couple of weeks later. My mother wanted to go to Layla’s parents and tell the truth, but you seehow my daddy is. He quickly put a stop to it, especially since Layla was saying that it wasn’t my fault.”

“So, what happened to you and your friendship with her?”

“I spent that summer in rehab. My parents and my relationship was strained, but Layla didn’t want anything else to do with me when I returned. She’s told me since that she told her mother that she couldn’t bear to be around any of her friends, and she didn’t want anyone to see her like that. But she said the truth was that she didn’t want me around her.”

“What about ya li’l boyfriend? What happened to him?”

I could hear the disgust and barely concealed hostility in Cedar’s voice. I was unsure if it was for me or Derek.

“Derek eventually went to prison for selling drugs and selling to minors. His brother was a dirty cop who eventually got discovered for some other stuff he’d done. He was sent to prison for a lot of dirt he’d done, but he didn’t last. They got to him the third week in. They never uncovered what he’d done as it related to my case. They never had a reason to go back and look at it.”

“Damn, Sunny.”

His voice was a sweet caress as he pulled my head down to rest on his shoulders.

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