Page 43 of Blood Ties
It should be a relieving thought. A triumph. But instead I’m hit by a squirming sensation of guilt in my stomach.
I swallow it down and ignore it. This is about survival. There’s no room for guilt.
With a small, half-forced smile, I reach over to touch his shirt. “You should get this cleaned up,” I say, low and teasing.
The moment the hem rises up over his waistband, he tenses and pulls away. I catch a glimpse of scarring on his pale stomach before he tugs his shirt back down.
“Yeah,” he says, expression shuttering. He pulls up his boxers and jeans, and gets up without looking at me again. He rinses his shirt in the sink without removing it, and I study the brace of his shoulders from behind, unsure what line I crossed. I just jerked him off while he looked into my eyes, and he won’t let me see his body?
It’s yet another reminder that I barely know this man. I can’t let my head fill with fanciful thoughts about him being gentle or sweet or sympathetic in any way. He helped his family kill my friends and cover it up. He’s keeping me chained in a goddamn basement.
I look at the shackle around my wrist and swallow hard. He’s never offered to remove it. Even Knox did that for me, if only for his own cruel games.
I lie back on the mattress, facing away from Kai and staring at the wall. I shut my eyes and pretend not to hear when he whispers my name like a question. A few minutes later, his footsteps retreat up the stairs.
?Chapter Twenty-Two
Kai
Ileave the basement, creep upstairs, and grab the knife from under my pillow. Then I slip back out and stand in front of my brother’s bedroom door.
Over and over again, I play it out in my head. Open the door, tiptoe to the bed, and shove the blade into his chest. No— his neck would be faster. Or his eye?
I think back to the deer I killed. The neck sounds right. One quick slash and it’s all over. But when I think of all the blood, of Knox’s eyes staring up at me, the knife’s hilt grows slick in my palm.
No matter what he’s done, I don’t think I can kill my brother. But I could at least hurt him. Scare him. Violence is the only language my family respects; it’s time for me to learn how to speak it. Maybe then they’ll take me seriously, for once.
I tighten my shaking fingers.Come on.I can do this. I have to. For Riley. I’m lucky Knox didn’t kill her today when I was gone. I think of those bruises on her pale soft skin, and harden my resolve, reaching for the door handle—
The floor creaks inside his bedroom. I jerk back, press my ear to the door instead. Is he awake in there?
He might be. He might be standing in there just waiting for me, knowing I’d try something when I saw what he did to Riley. He’s probably armed, too.
I can’t win against him in an all-out fight. And the noise would just bring Dad.
Gritting my teeth, I pull back, and exhale the fire out of my lungs. Not tonight. But one of these nights, I’m going to do it.
