Page 54 of Blood Ties
“It’s says ‘Ciela’ on it. The brand.”
“What color?”
“It’s...” I close my eyes, try to picture it. “Green, I think? Maybe blue... bluish green? I don’t know.”
When I open them again, Kai is rubbing the back of his neck, his expression difficult to decipher. “Describe it a little more?”
“It’s... I don’t know. A box? Kind of small? The brand is written pretty big, it should be obvious. Spelled C-I-E-L-A. I think it says ‘birth control’ on there too.”
Kai’s expression is creased. He slowly mouths the letters I told him.
A thought dawns on me. A thought that seems impossible, crazy, except... this whole situation is crazy. “Kai,” I say. Then I pause. After a moment of grasping for words, I decide to be straightforward. “Do you... know how to read?”
The words come out soft, confused. I’m not trying to judge him. But redness starts at the tips of Kai’s ears and soon spreads all over his face.
“I know I’m stupid,” he says.
“That’s not what I meant.” I reach for him, but he pulls his hand back, looking away. “Kai, you’re not stupid. I’ve talked to you enough to know that.”
He shrugs, eyes still turned downward.
I open and shut my mouth as I search for words. I’m on unsteady ground here, and the last thing I want to do is push Kai away. “I’m guessing you... you couldn’t go to a normal school, right?” I suggest. “It’s not your fault you were never taught.”
He shrugs, shoulders lifted defensively. “My momma tried to teach me. She taught Knox, but...” He shrugs again. “I was always worse at learning. And she, um, wasn’t feeling so great, so she gave up pretty quick.”
Sympathy worms into my chest. Kai never really had a chance to be normal, did he? No wonder his family’s grip on him is so tight. He has no money, no education, limited life skills. Even if he got away from all of this, what options would he have?
But I stifle the sympathy as fast as it occurs. I can’t afford to think like that. And this isn’t just a tragedy — it’s an opportunity. Something I can use. Something I can offer him other than my body. Which is especially important now that there’s the risk of pregnancy if he can’t find my birth control.
“I could teach you,” I say.
He slowly raises his eyes to mine, a question in his gaze.
“Really,” I say. “I’d like to. If you want. Before all of this happened, I—” An unexpected sting pricks the back of my eyes, and I blink the tears away. “I wanted to be a teacher.”
He studies my face, still hesitant. “I’m not good at learning.”
“I’m probably not the best at teaching yet, either, but we can try together.” I give him a watery smile. “Please? Let’s try.”
He bites his lip, mulls it over. “Okay,” he says. “What do you need?”
I smile and squeeze his hand. “Just do what you already promised,” I say. “Get my birth control.”
