Page 55 of Blood Ties
?Chapter Twenty-Eight
Kai
Istand in front ofKnox’s door.
His truck’s missing, so he’s probably in town at the bar. And he didn’t even lock his bedroom door. Still, it feels strange pushing it open and walking in. There’s a pit in my stomach like I’m about to be caught doing something wrong, though this hardly ranks on the list of terrible shit I’ve done.
I close the door behind me and stare around. I can’t remember the last time I was in here. My own room is tiny and bare, with only the small bed, a rickety folding table I use as a nightstand, and my stereo, along with a bag of my ragged supply of clothes. Knox’s room looks more like an actual bedroom, the kind we used to see on TV. He’s got a dresser with overflowing drawers, a real nightstand, a mirror. Plus enough random shit to fill every available surface — empty beer bottles, discarded packs of cigarettes, an old Polaroid camera, sunglasses, a watch, clothes everywhere...
I rake my fingers through my hair, sigh, and start sifting through the clutter. Everything smells like him, leather and cigarettes and cologne. It makes me feel like he’s standing just behind me, watching me.
But the longer I look, the more I forget about the wrongness of it. It’s weirdly fascinating, searching through my brother’s stuff. There’s a charger hidden in his sock drawer, which I can guess belongs to a cellphone. I didn’t know he had a phone.I’mnot allowed to have a phone. But I guess he’d probably say he needs it for work. ‘Cause he has a job, technically, working as a mechanic alongside Dad, and I don’t.
That means he has money, too, which is probably how he ended up with all of this shit. Like the clothes. All I get are his old hand-me-downs, things he tosses to me because he “doesn’t need them anymore.” The clothes I’m wearing now are from him. My stereo was his gift, same with the small stash of magazines under my mattress. Everything I have was his first. Even Riley.
I shake my head, pushing the thoughts away. There’s no sign of her birth control, nor anything out of place. But I turn back to eye the bed, remembering the stash I found under Uncle Frank’s. My stomach lurches as I drop down to look, but — there’s nothing.
I squint.Almostnothing. But a board is jutting up from the floor, ever so slightly. When I reach in and prod at it, it’s wobbly. I move it aside, and look down into the darkness beneath where a shoebox is waiting.
I’m not sure I want to know what’s in there. But if Knox is hiding Riley’s birth control, that’s where it’ll be.
I slide the box onto my lap, open it, and suck in a breath.
On top are some of the filthy magazines I already know he likes, along with a stack of polaroids. I glance at one photo to find it’s exactly what I expected — a girl, tied up and naked — and grimace, setting those aside.
Beneath them sits a wad of cash, surprisingly thick, some of it bloodstained. I flip through it, brow furrowing as I remember that Knox was the one who first discovered Caleb was alive. I guess it’s not the only body he’s checked over before I got rid of it.
Underneath that is a pearl necklace. It seems out of place, more of the sort of trophy that Uncle Frank would keep. Then I have a glint of memory, of the same string of pearls around Momma’s neck, and swallow past a lump in my throat.
There’s a small key. I stare at it for a long time, my mouth dry... and then I shake my head and set it aside.
Lastly there’s a polaroid, set aside from the others. I’m queasy as I reach for it, but I make myself flip it over, and frown. It takes me a second to recognize my own face, slack in sleep as I’m curled up in bed.
“The fuck,” I mutter. “Weirdo.”
I shove it all back into the box, replace the lid, and put it under the floorboard where I found it. Then I sit on the bed, and wait for Knox to come home.
*
MY BROTHER STUMBLESthrough the doorway, the smell of beer and whiskey rolling off of him. It takes him a second to notice me sitting there, and then he startles, reaching for the knife at his belt before he stops himself.
“What the fuck are you doing in here?”
“Riley’s birth control,” I say. “Where is it?”
He lets out a startled laugh. “What?”
“I know you took it,” I say, stone-faced.
“You stupid shit,” Knox says, still laughing. “I tossed it. Of course I fucking tossed it. And you need to use your fucking head.” He stumbles toward me, and jabs his finger into my temple hard enough to make me wince.
“You’re the one not thinking.” I shove his finger away. “You want to get her pregnant? What are we gonna do about a baby, Knox? We can’t take her to a doctor.”
