Page 7 of Kade

“Ohh, I can do that. Meet you there in twenty?”

“Perfect.” Angel said her goodbyes and closed FaceTime, trying to think about anything but the empty expression on the little boy’s face. It bothered her so much she started to twist her fingers, a nervous habit she’d picked up from Lily.

By the time she reached her apartment, it felt like she couldn’t breathe. She paid the cabby and tried not to run on the way into her building. The elevator ride felt torturous. What was wrong with her?

She managed to unlock the door without too much trouble, but her stomach decided to put its two cents in. Angel barely made it to the bathroom before she threw up. Her entire body shook. This was bad. How had seeing that child brought about this kind of a reaction? It made no sense.

Panic attack. This had to be a panic attack. She’d never experienced them before, but what else could this be? Falling to the floor, she curled up and tried to calm down. It was going to be okay. Everything was going to be fine.

The more she told herself that, the tenser and sicker she became. Dragging herself up, she swiped her phone off the sink and called Kade. Maybe hearing his voice would help.

“Finally.” The growl that reached her ears brought tears to her eyes. “Why the fuck didn’t you answer your damn phone?”

“Kade…” The words were barely a whisper, chock-full of tears.

“Angel, what’s wrong? Are you hurt? Where are you?”

“Home.” She tried to pull in air, but she strangled on it. “Come home, Kade. I need you.” Then she hung up, unable to deal with any more questions.

The doorbell rang ten minutes later. Lily. Angel found she couldn’t move from her position on the bathroom floor. All she could see were those tiny green eyes boring into her own. Expressionless and as empty as a barren wasteland. Why did they look like that?

“Angel?”

Kade’s roar caused her tears to flow harder. If only he’d been able to see the little boy. He’d know what Matthew should have looked like. It wasn’t fair.

Kade found his wife lying curled up in a fetal position on the floor, and terror gripped him. Was she sick, hurt? He rushed in and picked her up, carrying her to the bedroom. Lily stood in the doorway, eyes wide and concerned. He paid her no mind when she went into the bathroom.

“What is it,moye serdste? Tell me.” He didn’t mean to sound so angry or demanding, but he was scared. He’d never seen her like this.

She only cried harder.

“Maybe it’s the little boy she saved.” Lily came out of the bathroom with a wet cloth. He took it and wiped Angel’s face as best he could.

“Little boy?” he muttered as he wiped away the tears.

“She said he looked like you with her eyes and her brother’s nose.”

Kade’s head snapped up, and he stared at his future sister-in-law. “What?”

“We were on the phone, and the little boy stepped out into traffic. His father wasn’t watching him, and Angel ran to save him. She said looking at him brought back her own grief at losing her son. Maybe this is a manifestation of that grief.”

She saved a child who looked like him. That would do it. They’d been talking about their son recently, wondering if they might want to try to get pregnant again. Seeing a child who might look a little like him would definitely set her off.

“I’m going to make a pot of coffee. Getting something hot into her might help.”

“Thank you, Lily.”

“No worries.” She smiled and left the room, closing the door behind her. He was grateful for the privacy.

“Shh, baby, it’s okay.” He rocked Angel like a child as she sobbed. “I’m right here. It’s okay.”

Kade wasn’t sure how long he sat there, holding her while she cried, but he was grateful when she finally spoke. Angel was scaring him.

“He looked like Matthew.”

Kade closed his eyes and pulled his own grief in tight. He couldn’t let it show, not right now. She needed him to be strong.

“I know, baby.”

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