Page 44 of Jasper

Jasper shoveled more food into his mouth, going to his place of comfort. Food was that for him. It wasn’t healthy, but it was his joy.

“I joined the Marines because of him. He was the strongest man I ever met, and that includes my father. Henry took on the world with a no-holds-barred mentality.”

Images of his brother’s smiling face danced in his memory, and he looked down, not wanting Sloane to see the tears that threatened. It had been a long time since he’d thought of Henry.

“Henry was assigned to a special unit, a classified unit. My boss’s brother, Conner, was assigned to that same unit. I didn’t know it at the time, though. The unit wasn’t allowed to talk about anything, not even who was on the team. It’s still a very hush-hush unit.”

“And something happened to your brother while he was in this unit?”

Jasper nodded. “I still don’t know all the details because it was classified, but Viktor and I were part of the team that went to extract them. We didn’t know much, only that they’d been captured, and it took the military weeks to locate them. As soon as the information was verified, we were briefed and sent out.”

The stench was what he remembered the most. When he’d found the men, it was the stench that overpowered them first. They’d all been dead, their bodies broken and bruised. He never could get that smell out of his head. It still haunted his dreams.

“My brother had been beaten and tortured before he died. Conner was the only member of that team to survive.”

“Was he in the same condition?” she asked softly.

Jasper nodded, remembering Viktor screaming for a medic. “None of us thought he’d live.”

“But he did, and your brother didn’t.” Sloane took the plate of food out of his hands and slipped him hers. “Conner lived and Henry didn’t.”

“I resented the hell out of him. It was wrong—hell, it’s still wrong—but it’s how I felt then, and I still do, deep down. My brother was a good man. Conner’s not. He’s…he’s cold. It’s like there’s this black hole where his soul should be. Henry was light and laughter. Why was it fair that he lived when someone so dark survived?”

“Can I ask a question?”

He snorted. “What’s stopped you so far?”

“I am sorry, Jasper. I know this is hard for you.”

He squeezed her hands. He hadn’t meant to snap at her.

“You described Conner as someone dark and cold. Was he like that before he was captured, or was his captivity what made him that way?”

“I…” He tilted his head, thinking about all the conversations he’d had with Viktor. “His brother said he used to be the most laidback, easy one of them all.”

“So, it was the captivity that hardened him?”

“Maybe,” Jasper admitted.

“What if your brother had survived? Is it possible he might have turned just as hard and cold as Conner after everything he went through?”

Jasper sucked in a breath. He’d never considered that. “I don’t know.”

“Then why blame a man who suffered just as much as your brother for something he couldn’t control? For an experience changing him so fundamentally he might never recover? Especially when your brother might have been dealt the same hand, had he lived. How is that fair?”

“Who are you?” he whispered.

“Someone who’s had more therapy than I care to admit.” She smiled and scooted even closer. “That’s why I know you’re a person who projects. You took your anger and resentment and perhaps subconsciously projected it onto your boss’s wife because she was married to the brother of the man you resented for living?”

“I failed her.”

“How did you fail her?”

“The first time I was given the job of protecting her, Angel was targeted by a serial killer. He got the jump on me and my men and took her.”

“How did he get the jump on you?”

“He used a nerve agent that paralyzed them. Viktor’s brother Dimitri fell alongside my men.”

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