Page 95 of Touch Me Not: Anniversary Edition

“Are you sure you can be here?” he asked. “Nikoli’s here somewhere.”

Lily’s face blanched, and her heart twisted. Her flight or fight instincts kicked in, and she wanted to run far, far away.

“I’ll take you home,” Adam said softly.

“No.” She shook her head. As much as she wanted to run, she couldn’t. It was inevitable that she’d see Nikoli, and she’d rather do it here with her friends around her than somewhere else. “Jan will freak out if I leave, and then everyone will think I left because of him. I’m not going to run away like a scared little girl, Adam. That’s not who I am anymore.”

Adam gave her a doleful smile. “I like this new more confident you, but sometimes I wish the old Lily would rear her head up when you’re about to get hurt again for no reason.”

Lily knew what he was referring to. Women loved Nikoli, and she’d heard he’d had women hanging off him everywhere he went. Tonight would be no different, but she had to suffer through it. Not only for Jan, but for herself. She needed to prove she could get through the pain. That she’d be able to breathe again one day without feeling the burn of the ache scorching her insides.

“You know how much I love you, don’t you?” she asked, giving him another hug. She didn’t know how she’d have gotten through those first days without him. He’d lain with her on Janet’s bathroom floor for two days. They hadn’t said anything; he’d just comforted her. He’d been her best friend, and it had helped more than anything else.

“I love you too, Lily.” He hugged her back, and she made up her mind to talk to him, but she didn’t want him to take it the wrong way.

“Adam, I need to talk to you.” She leaned against the balcony railing. “I’ve wanted to say this for a long time, but I didn’t because I thought you were happy.”

“Have you reconsidered my proposal?” The hope in his eyes hurt. She didn’t want him to hurt like she was hurting.

“No, Adam, it wouldn’t be fair to either of us, and you know it, but I do want to talk to you about Sue.”

He sighed and settled down beside her.

“You know the only thing I want is for you to be happy.”

Adam nodded.

“Are you happy, though? The very fact that you were willing to dump her for me says a lot. Are you marrying her because you want to or because you feel it’s what’s expected of you? Are you going to be happy with her five years from now, ten?”

“I honestly don’t know, Lils,” he said. “The closer the wedding gets, the more nervous and anxious I get. I start to question myself. Sometimes I think she manipulated me into asking her. I felt so pressured.”

“Promise me that before you stand before God and all our family and friends, you’ll think about what you’re doing. Promise me you’ll call this off if it’s not going to make you happy. Please, Adam.”

“I promise.” He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. “Let’s get back inside. Janet wants to show you her wedding stuff. She has it all over here for some reason. I’m not sure why.”

Janet attacked as soon as they came back into the main room. “I’m so sorry, Lily, I didn’t know until Mike told me. I swear I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay, Jan.” She laughed. “It’s fine, really. Now, what’s this I hear about wedding stuff? And why is it all at a frat house?”

Jan looked madder than a wet hen. “Mike was trying to fix the sink and ended up flooding the apartment. We’re both staying here until it gets fixed.”

“Oh, my,” Lily murmured. That sure sounded like something Mikey would do.

“But why is it here and not at Mike’s frat?”

“Well, he actually dropped out of it.”

“What? Why?”

“Dues. I dropped out of my sorority too. We’re trying to save every penny we can to start our new life in New York. Steve is his buddy from the football team and offered to let Mike stay here with me, so I hauled my wedding stuff over here.”

“I’m not sure if I should say sorry or not?” Lily knew how much she loved being in a sorority. It had to have been hard for her to walk away from it. Just said how much she loved Mike.

Janet sighed and didn’t answer the question. “Come on, I’ll show you everything I’ve picked out so far. I need help with the flowers and the bridesmaids’ dresses…”

“It’s a party, Jan!” Mike shouted from across the room. “Let’s party!”

She shot him a look that promised no sex for a year, and Lily giggled. Janet started muttering about stupid men on the way up the stairs. The three drunken guys who stumbled down the stairs past her suffered the same look. They didn’t waste time in getting out of her way. Lily laughed as she followed Jan down the hall, listening to her ramble on about colors and flowers.

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