Page 76 of The Sinner's Touch

Kade lit the candle and handed the match to Angel.

Her hand shook so badly, he wrapped his around it and guided the match to the candle.

“This one is for Peter.”

Her eyes shot up to his face, and he was smiling, but it was a sad smile. He knew how important Peter was to her.

“I’m not sure what to say.”

“Say whatever you want to, Angel Girl. This is about remembering who we’ve lost. There is no wrong thing to say.” Nik gave her an encouraging smile.

Angel nodded. “When our parents died, Peter was determined to raise me himself. It was a fight because he was only eighteen, and social services didn’t think he was fit. But it was a fight he won. When Peter set his mind to something, he always got it.” A soft smile came over her. “He loved me, and he’d always say, ‘You and me, we’ve always got each other’s backs.’ And he did. He had my back so many times. He took care of me and he loved me, even when it cost him his life. I miss you, big brother.” Her voice broke, and Kade hugged her.

“I miss him too.” He buried his face in her hair.

Peter and Kade had been best friends. She’d spent so much time cursing him for deceiving them all, she forgot how much Peter meant to Kade too.

“He loved you like his own brother.”

“And I betrayed him.”

“No.” Angel shook her head. “You made sure he would be safe, Kade. You gave him back his life. He was the one who chose to come see me. And that’s not my fault, either. You made me understand that fact, so you listen to me now. Don’t blame yourself for Peter’s death. He made his own choices.”

Kade closed his eyes, and Angel knew it would take more than her words to wipe away his guilt. But maybe he’d learn to start to forgive himself as she had done.

She turned her attention to the last remaining candle, the one for her son, and a sob broke free. She couldn’t help it. He should be here now, cuddled up in her lap in front of theChristmas tree, singing silly songs likeRudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. So many smiles and laughs and cuddles she’d never be able to feel. She wanted her baby boy back more than anything in the world.

“It’s okay,moye serdste. I’ve got you.”

“My little nugget,” she whispered. “I would give up anything to have you back. I want to hold you, to hug you, to give you sloppy kisses. To clean your scraped knees. To watch you learn to ride your bike. So many things I had planned for you. You were and still are my heart. I almost died myself when I lost you. I know you’re in Heaven getting those cuddles and kisses from your Uncle Peter. He loved you from the moment he saw those little lines on the test. He’ll take care of you now because your daddy and I can’t. But we’ll always love you, Nugget, and we’ll never forget about you. You will be in our hearts, and your daddy was right. We’ll be better people because of you. I miss you so much, baby boy. I love you.”

Kade held her shaking hand as she lit the candle. He blew out the match and hauled her up in his arms as she burst into tears. She wanted her son.

The room was quiet as she cried and Kade held her close. She wasn’t sure how long it was before she was able to gather herself together and turn out of the shelter of Kade’s arms.

His family was there, their heads bowed, feeling the grief that encapsulated Kade and Angel. Even though they’d never had the chance to know about Matthew, they still grieved for him. It was written right there on their faces. It was in the words they’d spoken.

Kade’s family loved her son.

No, not Kade’s family. They were her family now too.

She wasn’t alone anymore.

She’d survived everything and come full circle.

It was going to be all right.

“Who’s hungry?” she asked.

Dimitri’s hand sprung up, and she laughed.

She settled back down and let herself be happy as they ate dinner and then opened presents.

It wasn’t such a bad Christmas Eve after all.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Kade closed the door behind his brothers then made his way back over to Angel’s couch. She’d passed out a while ago, and they’d all been mindful of her. She didn’t sleep well, so anytime she looked restful, Kade dared anyone to disturb her.

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