Page 133 of North Is the Night
He closes his eyes as if my words cause him physical pain. But I can feel down the bond that this pain is caused by restraint. “Do not open this door unless you wish me to walk through it,” he warns.
“A mortal man was enough for Aina. Only a god will suit Ainatar. I will have you in all forms. You call me ‘goddess’? I mean to have you worship me.”
He groans, dropping his forehead to my now-healed shoulder, his hands stroking up my back, hungrily.
“Mortals fear you and seek your favor,” I whisper, digging my fingers into his hair. “As I am your queen, you shall seek only mine. Please me, Tuoni. Please your goddess and earn my favor—”
Before I finish the words, he claims my mouth in a kiss. I sink against him, savoring the feel of his strong arms wrapped around my waist. There is nothing sweet or gentle about this kiss, nothing like that first kiss we shared in the forest. Even the kiss in the throne room felt like a controlled burn.
This kiss is an inferno. It consumes me from the tips of my toes, reforming as a searing ache deep in my core. His lips are seeking, demanding. He pours all of himself into me, opening me up in ways I didn’t know were possible. At the taste of his tongue against mine, sweet with red wine, I sigh. His fingers weave into my hair, jerking my head back. He breaks our kiss, leaving me breathless, as his mouth drops lower, grazing down my neck, sending flames dancing across my skin. I hold tight to his tunic with both hands as he grips my hips, walking me backwards towards the bed.
“Tell me again how much you want this,” he says, his voice like warm honey against my ear. He pulls back, eyes narrowed as he searches my face. “Tell me, wife.”
Trembling with nerves, I reach out a hand and stroke the scar across his face. “How did you get this?”
“Väinämöinen.”
“The shaman hurt you?” I whisper.
“We hurt each other,” he admits. “It was long ago.”
Taking his face in my hands, I pull it down. Smoothing his raven-black hair behind his ears, I kiss the edge of that long scar. “The next person who thinks to harm you will have to go through me.” The words are so ridiculous, so extraordinary, that we both can’t help but let out a laugh. He relaxes in my arms, and I pull him closer, kissing his lips. “I want this.”
He stills.
I kiss him again, slow but pleading. “Bind me to you in all ways.”
He answers me with action. Jerking his axe loose from the back of his belt, he rattles it down on the table. His thick leather belt comes off next. I’m not sure if I’m meant to help him, so I watch, taking in each of his deliberate movements as he sheds his many layers. He tugs his thick wool tunic off over his head, leaving his chest bare. In the light of the fire, I try to memorize him. His skin is so pale from a lifetime of night. Scars big and small crisscross his arms, his abdomen. A dusting of dark hair trails from his chest down to his navel.
I settle on a tattoo of a raven in flight over his heart. It’s a mirror of the one Kalma wears, though twice the size. I stroke the lines of the raven’s sharp face with my fingernail. Beneath my hand, the god of death trembles. I meet his gaze again, feeling the coiling and uncoiling of a great beast in my gut. Ainatar seeks to wake and claim our prize.
“You are mine, Tuoni. My raven, my husband.”
“I’m yours,” he repeats. “Leave your mark on me. Claim me, wife.”
I put my hands on his chest and breathe in his woodsy scent, but he lowers himself away from me, sinking down onto the bed. It’s the work of moments for him to shed his boots and wool socks. He stands, towering over me again as he drops his hands to the top of his elk-skin breeches. He works the leather ties, his eyes taking their fill of me.
My breath catches as he drops his breeches to the floor. He stands confidently before me wearing nothing but a twisted copper band on his wrist. His desire for me is on full display. I’ve seen naked men all my life—swimming in the lake, enjoying sauna. But I’ve never touched one.
Swallowing my fears, I reach for the fabric of my shift and tug it over my head. I drop it to the floor atop his discarded tunic. I stand naked before him, my hair unbound around my shoulders, trailing down my back.
Tuoni stands back, eager to look at me. His dark eye glints in the firelight as it moves, tracing the soft curves of my body. The odd thing is that he’s seen me naked before as the raven. Just tonight he found me naked in the snow. In all those times, I never felt what I feel now—pure, unbridled want.
He comes to me, his hands warm on my skin as I tremble against him. “Please,” he whispers. “I promised you kindness, and I will obey. I want you, wife. May I have you?”
Heart in my throat, I nod.
With a groan, he sweeps me into his arms and places me on the soft furs of the bed. They tickle my arms as I scoot back against the pillows. Then he’s on the bed too, kneeling over me. A sound escapes my throat as his hand trails up my thigh and between my legs. He watches me with those mismatched eyes as he moves his fingers over me in slow circles.
I arch towards his hand, biting my lip to stifle my moan. I feel like I can’t breathe, even as my lungs fill with air. I raise my arms over my head. When he slides a finger inside me, I gasp. He catches the sound with his mouth, his beard tickling as his tongue teases. I open to him, and he drops to his elbows, his weight pressing heavy against my stomach, pinning me down. He pants, his breath warm on my cheek. “Do you trust me?”
He asks me the question I’ve been asking myself for days. Can I trust him? Can I trust anyone? I have to. In this dark place, I trust him, or I die. “I trust you,” I whisper, praying to the All-Mother that my trust is not misplaced.
He claims my mouth again as he enters me. It hurts for only a moment, the sensation strange. I wince, shifting my hips until he presses in deeper, his hips resting in the cradle of my legs. The pain stops and I feel only fullness. “You feel so fragile,” he pants, one hand cupping my cheek as he moves on top of me. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
I arch back, trying to move with him. “I feel no pain.”
“But do you feel pleasure?”
