Page 28 of Pucking Strong

I don’t want to come across as one of those stereotypical gays who has already planned his dream wedding down to the table favors and DJ set list … but if the shoe fits, right? And this is not how I imagined my big day. First, we wouldn’t be getting married at city hall. We’d get married on the edge of a forest at twilight. Second, I wouldn’t be wearing scuffed sneakers and a branded T-shirt. I have a whole Pinterest board saved of wedding looks. And I’ll tell you right now, not one Pin features polyester pants with zippers at the ankles.

And my family would be here with me to celebrate. That they’re not here hurts more than I can say. Keeping this from them has been the hardest part. I want them to know … but I’m also afraid of what they’ll say. I’m afraid they’ll talk me out of it. And my mind is made up. This is the right thing to do.

Henrik exchanges a few words with the man behind the desk as he passes the tablet over to him. Then he half turns, holding out my passport. “Finished.”

“Cool.” I slip it back in my pocket. “So, are we doing it right here then?” I glance around the sterile atrium.

“They have a chapel down the hall. We’ll do it in there once they call our names.”

Hearing the wordchapelhas my blood freezing to ice. Oh shit. I’m gonna have to lie in front of Jesus? I stuff my hands in my pockets. “Chapel, huh? Are you religious then?”

He just shrugs. “Not particularly. My family has always celebrated Christmas and Easter.”

“Yeah, same.”

“But we also observe Midsummer with bonfires, schnapps, and a naked swim in the lake at midnight,” he adds.

Aaaaand now I’m picturing him naked.

Just fucking perfect.

He must sense the anxiety in my tone. “Are you religious? I believe we can request a prayer or blessing.” He starts to turn away, but I grab his arm.

“No, it’s fine. I mean, if this was a real wedding, maybe I’d want more.”

Yeah,more. That about sums up what I’d want if this was real.

But it’s not.

“Really, it’s fine, Henrik.” Saying his name is the one indulgence I’m allowing myself. “Let’s just get this over with. It’s just on paper anyway, right?”

He nods and I drop my hand away. “They should call us back soon. Excuse me.” Stepping around me, he heads for the restroom.

The moment he’s gone, Elin slaps her laptop shut and stands. “I have to get back to the office. Tell Henrik I’ll need a copy of the signed marriage certificate as soon as possible.”

“Okay.”

“I’ve incorporated all your information into the application.”

“Cool.”

At her insistence, we’ve included my résumé and copies of my degrees and licenses. She wants my background of working with kids in rehab settings to strengthen Henrik’s case.

Slipping the strap of her leather bag onto her shoulder, she pauses to look at me, her pale blue eyes searching my face. I blink, trying to hold still. What is she looking for? What is she seeing? Istraighten my shoulders, waiting. She takes a step closer and grabs my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “It’s a noble thing you’re doing, Teddy. Just be sure you’re doing it for the right reasons.”

“Right reasons?”

I get the feeling those Swedish laser eyes are looking straight through me. “He can never love you the way you want him to. It’s just not how he’s wired.” With that, she drops my hand and walks away.

Before I can take a breath, the secretary behind the desk clears his throat. He’s a young white guy with reddish hair and dimpled cheeks. “Doctor O’Connor?”

“Yes?”

“They’re ready for you.”

I glance around, looking for Henrik. “Uhh, he’s still in the bathroom.”

“When he returns, you may both make your way down to the chapel.”

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