Page 60 of The Brutal Arrangement

And it was impossible to believe that Ionlywanted her in a sexual manner.

She invaded my thoughts. The memory of her sighs when she came ran on repeat in my mind, giving me a dose of triumph that I could make her feel good.

At any time of the day or night, she’d creep into my head and make me obsessed to know more. To take more. To feel more and more and more.

“I am learning to,” I admitted, knowing that I couldn’t keep up this farce that my dick was the only thing ruling how I wanted her.

It didn’t matter how much I tried to compartmentalize her and keep her strictly in the role of being my wife to fuck.

I wasn’t ready to say it out loud yet, but I…enjoyed the thought of being in her company in any way I could.

“You are?” The ghost of a smile lifted her lips.

I nodded, keeping a secure hold on her chin as I lowered to kiss her. I didn’t devour her like I usually did, not even when shekissed me back just as fiercely. Instead, I let her sample a slower burn of the hunger I felt for her.

I’d be damned if she assumed I didn’tlikeher.

23

LUCY

This kiss felt different. Itwasdifferent in that he wasn’t exerting too much force in an obvious show of control and command. While I wanted to practically swoon at the suggestion of tenderness in this kiss, I was so used to the force and roughness he always showed me that I felt like I was missing out.

“I am learning you,” he said when he pulled back slowly. This gruff man always stared at me so intensely that it seemed like he was peeling back layers of me. But this look he gave me now… It was new. Almost as though he couldn’t hold back on being mesmerized and in this moment.

“I am inclined to agree with that,” I replied. It wasn’t obedience that had me saying that. I wasn’t agreeing with him to earn his approval. It was true and the only way I could tell him that without sounding cocky or smug. “You’ve been learning how to, um…”

His stare darkened as he walked me back toward the couch. “How to fuck you?” He tugged my shirt off and over my headbefore tossing it to the floor, not taking his eyes off me long enough to see—or probably care—where it went.

I nodded, my nerves lighting up with desire as I knew what would be coming.

Any time he looked at me like this, his gaze so smoldering and needy, I was in for a good, hard fuck. After the emotional reaction I had earlier today at seeing Maxim and Sloane in love, a reminder that all I had here was a physical connection to Damon, I shouldn’t have wanted to be “easy” for my husband. But something about feeling his mouth on mine, his hands roving over my skin, was my undoing.

“You’ve mastered that,” I said as he continued to guide me to the couch.

It was his turn to nod as he shoved at my skirt, urging me to work with him and get bare as quickly as possible. This wasn’t a frantic rush of ripping off our clothes, but even this process of revealing ourselves was a hell of a turn-on.

“I don’t trust easily,” he admitted as I stood before him in my bra and panties.

I swallowed hard, touched that he’d offer up that much information. This was the most we’d really ever talked before, and for him to freely fess up something like that, it had to be a big step forward.

“I… I don’t either,” I replied.

He nodded slowly, raking his greedy gaze over me as he worked on getting his garments off, in no particular hurry. Perhaps his plan was to tease me, but it wouldn’t be a shocker that I was already wet.

“But the more that you show me how submissive you want to be,” he said as he let his shirt fall, “the more you listen to me and respect that I am in charge…”

I nodded, confused how he wouldn’t think that already. I hadn’t fought—much. I hadn’t protested—loudly. It couldn’t be a healthy way to form any sort of a solid relationship, but I had adapted to wanting him and craving him so it wasn’t even a hardship to bow and submit.

Because when he was the boss, when he was in charge and held the power, somehow, deep inside me, I knew that I was free of all the expectations and responsibilities that had shackled my soul before. With him, under his roughness, I could be freer.

“The more I want to learn about you in every way.” He dropped his pants and boxers, showing me how hard he was. He wasalwayslike this—long, thick, and standing to attention for my pleasure. For as gruff of a man that he was, he never failed to see to my orgasms first.

“I want…” I shivered under his touch as he tugged my bra, then my panties, off, all the while caressing me with his appreciative stare, like it was a tangible contact. “I want to learn about you too,” I said softly, praying that he wouldn’t take that as my being nosy or prying. It went without saying that secrets would be kept from me. He was a Mafia man, and confidentiality was a must.

Yet, as I realized that I was expressing more interest in my husband, I knew that I was becoming more of a liar to myself. If I was planning to leave him as soon as I could, as soon as Katerina gave me this ambiguous all-clear, then why would I be investing to know my husband more than I already did?

The notion that I was coming to care for him bothered me. Letting him fuck me had at first seemed like a distant, emotionless thing to get over. But letting him into my mind or heart? That was too severe of an attachment.

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