She gasped and tried to regain her composure. Boy, was she pathetic or what? Pining over a man who didn’t want her in the first place, who had told her multiple times that he wasn’t going to have a relationship with her — and whom she had fallen for anyway. She was such a loser.

That night she dreamed she was in a fancy dress, and Thaddeus was holding her, dancing to an old 80’s ballad. The dream felt so real she could almost feel the stubble as she touched his face. Thaddeus smiled at her, and her heart soared.

“I love you,” she told him.

But he melted away and Gavin stood in his place, pulling her close, a nasty sneer on his face. “You love me,” he said.

She fought to get away from him, but he held her tighter. Where had Thaddeus gone? Wouldn’t he come save her? But Thaddeus was nowhere to be found.

She woke up with a start, her legs tangled in the sheets and sweat dripping down her back.

Chapter 25

Aribelle pulled into a parkingstall and cut the engine. A gentle snowfall had blanketed the streets. She grabbed her purse and headed toward the big sliding doors. She tried not to slip on the slick concrete as she made her way to work. Being a cashier at Walmart wasn’t a glamorous job, but it paid the bills. At least, most of the bills. She still needed to find a new apartment.

Christmas music played over the loudspeakers as she stuffed her things in the locker. A month and a half. That’s how long it had been since she’d seen Thaddeus. And still, she couldn’t go a full day without thinking about him, worrying about how he’d been doing.

She clipped her nametag on her shirt and headed over to her station. Gaudy decorations hung from the ceiling, reminding her that tomorrow was Christmas. Her first Christmas completely alone.

She sighed and flipped on her register’s ‘open’ light. What would Thaddeus do if she showed up at his house this evening? Would he be angry? Or would he take her in his arms and let her place her head on his chest, breathing in his sandalwood scent? Shivers went through her at the thought of seeing him again. But would it be a bad idea?

Her feet hurt after three hours standing there bagging groceries and last minute Christmas gifts. Too bad she still had five hours left to go on her shift. She greeted people with a smile and tried to ignore her aching feet.

The clock seemed to inch forward at a snail’s pace, but she finally got to sit down and eat some lunch. As she pulled out her sandwich and juice pouch, she smiled to herself. She was eating like a six-year-old again. And then a loss so substantial she could feel it in her bones settled in on her, and her eyes filled with moisture.

She missed him. And nothing she did made the ache go away. She slowly ate her sandwich, waffling between going to see him tonight and trying to shove everything Thaddeus out of her head and mind. Did she really want to see him again, only to have to say goodbye another time?

Unless there was a third option.

What if he hired her back? What if, instead of waiting at home while he was out at night, she went with him? Could she help him after he healed someone? She could drive him home. Make sure he got in okay. She could be right there in case anything happened.

What if he agreed to let her be part of a team?

She let the thought sink into her mind as she finished her shift. She even allowed herself to become a little excited at the thought of being able to be with Thaddeus again. Would he take her back? She wasn’t sure, but by the time she walked out of Walmart, she was determined to go talk to him and make a case for her idea.

The snow had stopped and the streets had been plowed, although she drove slower than usual because some spots still had patches of ice. She clung to the steering wheel and turned to go outside of town.

As she neared Thaddeus’s house, her pulse raced, and she couldn’t get enough air in her lungs. Would he yell at her when he saw her? Maybe she should have texted him first. It was awkward, with her having left without any contact for over a month.

She pulled into his driveway, which hadn’t been plowed or shoveled. Thank goodness they’d only gotten two inches of snow. No other cars were parked. In fact, there were no tire impressions in the snow. What had happened to his new housekeeper? Had she quit? Aribelle paused and looked over at his motorcycle before opening the car door and walking up to the house. Her feet crunched on the snow, and she figured he was listening to the sound of her approaching. She climbed the steps and knocked on the large wooden door.

Memories flooded back of her first day working for Thaddeus. What a grump he’d been. He’d changed a lot in the last few months. She stood in the cold as she waited, not knowing how he would react to seeing her.

The door opened and Thaddeus stood there, a guarded expression on his face. “Belle?” He seemed neither happy nor angry to see her. Simply measured, and a bit distant. He had a scab on his forehead, and his hand had a bandage on it, much like the one he’d had the first day they met.

Her mind screamed at her that this was a bad idea. Maybe she shouldn’t have come. But it was too late to go back. She shifted her weight. “Can I talk to you?”

He blinked, maybe trying to decide if he should let her in. “Okay.” He stepped back and she entered his home.

“No Christmas decorations?” she asked, looking around the living room.

“No.” He didn’t offer any explanations, and she didn’t probe any further.

“Sarah?” she asked, almost hoping the housekeeping position was open.

“I gave her a few days off. For Christmas.”

Aribelle stepped toward him and he moved away from her like he needed a buffer. She tried not to take it personally. Now that she was standing before him, her tongue was all tied up. How could she propose what had sounded like a good idea in her head, but now seemed a bit silly? She didn’t know what else to do, so she decided to come out with it. “I came because—”