Page 22 of Because You Loved Me

Noah presses his fingers to her neck. “She’s alive,” he says.

“Kiki, go back inside and keep Skyler away, okay?” Tobias says.

I nod, my ears ringing. I walk back inside, my heart in my throat. Skyler can’t see Violet outside like that. It would traumatize her for life. I go into the family room, and luckily Skyler’s still in there watching Television with Levi.

“What’s going on?” Levi asks.

I sit down next to Levi. “She collapsed outside,” I say, my voice low so Skyler doesn’t hear.

Levi stands up. “I’ll go see if I can help.”

I nod and move so I’m sitting next to Skyler, my fingers trembling. Skyler dances to whatever song is on the television. I’m glad she’s too young to understand there’s an emergency outside. She doesn’t need to deal with that. I watch her childlike innocence.

I try not to think about my grandmother, but the image of her lying on her bedroom floor keeps invading my mind. The room feels too small and the walls press in on me. I try to focus on something else…anything else. The dog on the television. The cute way Skyler is moving her feet to the music. Nothing seems to help, and I have a hard time breathing.

Tobias comes into the room, and I stand. Bad decision. The room spins and I have to take in a gulp of air. “How is she?” I say, my voice low.

“She’s come to and is talking with Noah, but her words are slurring. We called an ambulance.” He stares at me. “What’s wrong? You don’t look good.”

“I’m fine,” I say, but the room spins again, and I bend over so I don’t faint.

“You’re not fine.” He grabs my arm. “What’s going on?”

“It’s too hot in here.”

Tobias guides me to the couch. “Sit down.” I obey.

“I’ll be right back.” He leaves and a moment later he comes back with a glass of ice water. “Drink this,” he says as he sits next to me.

I grab the ice water, wrapping my fingers around the cool glass and take a sip. It does help, so I gulp some more. “Thanks.”

“Take some deep breaths.” He presses his hand on my back, rubbing in small circles.

I try to do as he says, but it’s hard to breathe. The more he touches me, the more my focus turns to that, and the image of my grandmother slowly fades from my vision.

“How are you doing?” he asks after a few moments.

“Better.”

Skyler comes over to me on the couch. “Kiki, can I watch another Bluey?”

“Sure,” Tobias says, grabbing the remote. He clicks and turns on another episode. When Skyler is preoccupied, he turns back to me. “What happened?”

Embarrassment floods over me. “It’s nothing, really.”

“Kiki,” he says softly, and I raise my gaze to his. He’s looking at me so intently, I feel like I owe him an explanation.

“Finding Violet outside reminded me of when my grandmother died. I was the one that found her.” My throat closes up again. I haven’t told very many people about that day.

“Oh, Kiki. I’m so sorry.” Tobias pats my back.

“It’s okay. Really. The situation just brought back some memories that startled me. I guess I didn’t realize how much trauma I had buried from that day. I mean, I know it was a terrible day, but it must have given me PTSD or something.” I take another sip of the water. It’s cool going down my throat, and it helps sooth me.

“Violet’s going to be fine,” Tobias says, swallowing hard, and I have to wonder if he’s saying that to comfort me or to convince himself.

The sound of an ambulance siren wails in the distance, and we sit and listen as it grows louder. Skyler notices and starts to walk out of the family room toward the front of the house. I grab her and pull her to me. “Hey, did you ever hear about the tickle monster?”

I tickle her stomach, and she bursts out in a fit of laughter. When I set her down, she runs back from me, giggling. “Get me, Kiki!”

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