Page 44 of Because You Loved Me

“Tell me what it is. Let me be the judge of that.”

She takes my hands in hers. “You’re a good person, Tobias.”

I think about how Kiki is with Skyler, how she’s so much better with her than Courtney ever was. She’s loving and kind. She’s one-hundred-percent there for her. And I want that for Sky. I selfishly want it for me, too. “So are you.”

She shakes her head. “No. I’ve done things…” She lets go of me and turns away.

I reach for her, tilting her face toward me. She’s talking about whatever it was that made her parents disown her, and it breaks my heart. “I don’t care what you’ve done. I don’t care who you were. I only care about who you are now.”

I stare down at her as the salty breeze blows over us. The smell of the ocean mixes with a smokey fragrance, probably from a bonfire in the area. She searches my gaze. “Really?” she whispers.

“Really,” I say, and I mean it. Her face is bathed in moonlight, and I can’t help but see her as the woman I’ve come to know over these last few days. The woman who treats Skyler like she’s the most important thing in the world. The woman who is slowly changing me…making me want to open up again.

I cup her face with both my hands, taking a step until her lips are so close I can feel her breath. “I’m insanely attracted to you right now.”

She slow blinks at me. “Me too.” It comes out so quietly I barely hear her.

I inch closer to her. I want to kiss her so badly I can’t think straight. I wait to get her silent permission. When she closes the distance, I lose all control and take command of the kiss.

CHAPTER 18

KIKI EMMERSON

Ishouldn’t be kissing Tobias, yet my lips pass over his anyway. Sparks fly over my skin and my knees go weak. I can’t think. I need to kiss him right now more than I need to breathe. His fingers thread through my hair, cradling me. His kiss is like getting hit with lightning, hot and electric…and dangerous.

I reach up to touch his face, to caress his skin. The stubble on his jawline is sexy, and I run the backs of my fingers over it. He smells of spice and vanilla, and it fills me with longing. I drag my fingers through his hair. He makes a groaning sound deep in his throat as he kisses the side of my mouth, my jawline, and down my neck.

A wave washes over my feet, and the combination of his warm kisses and the cold water makes me dizzy. I feel like I could fly. I don’t want to do anything else but kiss this man.

His lips return to mine, and passion grows behind his kiss. Warning bells sound in my mind. This shouldn’t be happening. I can’t have a relationship with Tobias.

I pull back, and he places his forehead on mine. I gasp for air. There’s a magnetic pull between us, and I can’t break away. As I catch my breath, he closes his eyes and places his hands on my hips. “I’m sorry.”

He sounds so serious, the bottom drops out of my stomach. He’s regretting the kiss. Which is fine. I should regret it too. Even though part of me doesn’t. “Why are you sorry?”

“I’m not good at this,” he whispers. He’s so quiet his words almost fly away on the night breeze.

I wasn’t expecting that. I’m still catching my breath. “I highly disagree,” I whisper back.

He chuckles as he pulls away and looks into my eyes. “I mean, I’m not good at relationships. When Courtney left, she destroyed me. And I’ve been running from that ever since.”

I pinch my lips together, fighting the urge to tell him it will all be okay. That I won’t hurt him like Courtney did. I can’t say that to him, because it’s a lie. I will hurt him. That’s inevitable, and the guilt from it threatens to break me.

He gently kisses my forehead. “I don’t want Noah anywhere near you,” he grinds out.

I look up at him. “What?”

He shakes his head, his jaw clenching. “Nothing. It’s just something Levi said.”

I swallow and stare at Tobias. He looks so vulnerable right now. He’s opening up to me, and I don’t know what to do. There’s a voice in my head screaming at me to run away, but I stand before him, frozen.

His eyes pierce through my soul, and I know I have to tell him I can’t be in a relationship with him. I can’t, because I’m not who I’m pretending to be. And no matter what I do, I can neverbe someone else. I have made choices in my life that can’t be erased. I’m no good for Tobias.

He pulls me to his chest. “I’m not perfect. But I’m willing to stumble my way through this thing, if you’re willing to?—”

“Tobias,” I say, cutting him off.

He looks into my eyes. “What?”

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