Page 52 of Because You Loved Me

“Okay, then. I’ll make us some herbal tea, and you can wait for me on the porch swing.”

I go outside and flick on the lights that hang overhead. I sit down on the swing and unbutton my top button on my shirt. For some reason, it feels too constricting all of a sudden. I look out over the moonlit ocean and try not to think about how it felt to kiss Kiki as the waves washed over our feet.

I fiddle with my sleeves, as I’ve had them rolled up since I did the dishes. Kiki comes out with our mugs of tea. “Leave them.”

“What?”

“Leave your sleeves up.” She sits next to me. “It shows a more relaxed side of you.”

I take the mug from her and take a sip. It’s a little too hot, so I lower it. “A relaxed side of me, huh?”

“If you have to wear business attire, might as well be more comfortable in it.” She kicks the swing into motion.

A light breeze is blowing, and it feels nice. I sit back and let the sound of the waves calm me. The lights from a ship are slowly moving across the horizon, and I watch it as we sit quietly.

“I was worried that you were going to fire me today,” Kiki finally says.

I jerk my gaze to her. “Fire you? Why would I do that?”

She shrugs. “Because of…last night.”

I exhale, once again feeling guilty for what I did. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“I started it. I was the one that kissed you first.” She looks down at her hands. “If you want me to leave, I’ll understand.”

“I don’t want you to leave.” That’s the last thing I want. I’ve only known Kiki for five days, but I can’t imagine going back to the way things were before she came here, and not just because she’s been amazing with Skyler.

“I mean, I’m not even that great of a nanny.”

“What?” I’m too shocked to even know what to say.

“I totally made that stuff up, about me working at a daycare.” Kiki stares down at her lap and I can’t help but laugh.

“Did you think I believed you? A famous daycare center? Come on.” I nudge her elbow. “But you’re wrong if you think you’re not a good nanny.”

She looks up at me, the emotion clear in her eyes. “Really?”

“You’re great with Sky. I mean, amazing. And I’m not just saying that. Skyler adores you.”

She takes a sip of her tea. “I kind of feel like I’m making things up as I go.”

I laugh, because she just described every parent, everywhere. “That’s exactly how I feel.”

Her eyes widen. “But you’re so good with your daughter.”

I shake my head. “I mess up sometimes, just like everyone else. I’m learning as I go. The important thing is that I care.” I cup my fingers around my mug, the breeze turning cooler, and I look at her. “You care, and that’s what Skyler sees.”

“But you look like you have it all together.” She sighs.

“Looks can be deceiving.”

She seems to take that in. We sit silent for a while as we swing and look out at the stars hanging over the ocean. “Ellie called me today.”

Kiki perks up. “Oh?”

“She said she got that watercolor artist to agree to come out for the gallery. I think her name is Mackenzie Davenport. She’s bringing her fiancé, too, which Ellie seemed very excited about.”

Kiki tilts her head. “Wait, who did you say?”

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