Page 103 of Knot Our Reality

“No. I need to do this alone.” I smile to soften my words, knowing just how much it’s driving him crazy to just sit here, before turning my attention to Roman. “Lead the way.”

Roman offers me his arm, and I take it gratefully. This road isn’t one of the ones that buckled from the earthquake, but there is rubble everywhere.

It takes us about five minutes to make it to a business I’m familiar with—Sip ‘n Slide. The windows are all shattered, although the glass has been swept into a pile against the outside wall. The sign is gone, and it looks like there might have been some structural damage.

“Not Michael?” I ask, tears already swimming in my eyes.

Roman nods. “Yeah, unfortunately. Their house didn’t take any damage, but they can’t get him to leave the nest he has here. There’s been no damage to the nest, but that can’t be said for the rest of the building.”

We make our way through the rubble, my tears spilling over as I take in the damage to their business.

“Oh, thank the fates.” Bree rushes away from three men—two of whom I remember from our date here just a few weeks ago. Philip and Victor, if I remember correctly. But the third alpha is nowhere to be found.

“Lawrence?” I ask quietly, and she nods. I curse, swiping at my tears. “I don’t know how much help I’ll be. My emotions are all over the place right now.”

Bree hums, her cheeks wet with her own tears. “You’ll be more helpful than I was. I already told him I was bringing back someone for him to talk to. He’s not doing well with the broken bond, Emilia, and I’m afraid of what he might do. As are the rest of his mates. They lost a pack mate too, but they’re trying to be strong for their omega.”

I pat her arm as we approach the two alphas and beta. “I’ll do what I can.”

The beta, whom I haven’t met yet, meets my eyes, and I hate the pain and worry there. There’s so much pain radiating from thethree of them.

“I’m Oliver,” he says softly. “I wasn’t here when you came for your date. We appreciate you trying to talk to him. Bree told us what happened to your first pack, and I can’t imagine that’s something you like talking about.”

“It’s not, but if it means helping Michael, I don’t mind.”

Bree knocks on the door, pushing it open even though she receives no response.

The nest is mostly dark, despite the fact that power has been restored to this part of the city. I don’t see Michael, but I hear his sobs.

We make our way to him, and I lay my hand on his back. He flinches, trying to pull away, but I don’t let him.

“Hey, Michael. It’s Emilia Reinhardt. I heard what happened, and I wanted to come talk to you.”

“Why?” he asks, his voice hoarse, likely from all the crying he’s been doing. “Nothing anyone says will bring him back.”

I sniff, rubbing circles on his back. “You’re right. Nothing will bring him back, no matter how much you pray for it. He’s gone and nothing will change that.”

The sound he makes breaks my heart—a wail full of heartbreak and despair. I can only imagine what this is doing to his mates. Not just to hear it, but to feel it through their bonds.

“Emilia, are you sure this is—”

“Yes,” I bark, cutting her off. “Pussyfooting around it isn’t going to change the fact that he’s gone.”

Michael makes the sound again, and I make a cooing sound. “I’m sorry, Michael. I won’t lie to you. This is the worst thing you’re ever going to deal with. I know what it’s like to feel that emptiness inside you that was once filled with love. I know what it feels like to not know if you can keep going. To wonder if you should follow them into the grave. Everyone will tell you it’ll get better, and they’re right—it will eventually get better—but you’ll always feel that hole in your chest. You’ll always feel the pain of that lost bond.”

“I don’t think I can do it,” he admits as he rolls over to face me. “I don’t know how you did it.”

Stroking my hand down his face, letting him see the tears I’m spilling—for him and for myself. “It wasn’t easy, but my boys got me through it. You don’t have kids to help you, but you still have three mates out there who are so fucking worried about you. Who love you and want to share in your grief, but you’re pushing them away. That won’t make this easier for you. The four of you need to lean on one another if you want to make it through this, Michael.”

“He’s dead because of me. How can they even want to look at me?” he whispers, his voice barely audible.

“Do you really think they blame you? Lawrence died protecting you. You’re safe because he made sure you were. They don’t blame you. They’re grateful you’re alive.”

His body shakes as he continues to sob. “It just hurts so much.”

“It does, and it will, for a very long time. One day, you’ll wake up and find it doesn’t hurt quite as badly. Healing takes time, Michael. You need your pack.”

“I’ll just drag them down,” he argues.

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