Page 18 of Knot Our Reality

“Ryan always went with me to get our nails done. In between visits, he’d paint both of our nails. I always made a mess, but he was the best at it.” I blink, realizing I said that out loud.

“I’m glad you had someone to enjoy that with.” Lee offers me a soft smile. “I’m sure he liked having something just the two of you did.”

I nod slowly. “He really did, and my mates understood it wasn’t something they could intrude on. Not that they wanted to. They never teased Ryan about his nail polish, which I loved. In fact, on more than one occasion, they came to his defense in college when someone thought they could give him shit about it. Not that he needed their help, considering he was just as big as they were.”

“With each story you tell us, I can see just how much you loved them and how they must have loved you.” Sasha squeezes my hand. “I am sorry you lost them, but I am glad you tell us of them.”

During this, Leslie and her alphas tried to give us space, but there’s no hiding the sympathy in the alphas’ eyes or the empathy in Leslie’s.

I used to hate seeing that on people’s faces. It felt like they were intruding on my grief, but I no longer get bothered by it. Honestly, it’s much better than the people who just ignore the fact that I once had a pack.

“Are you ready?” Leslie asks, and I nod.

Lucas falls into step with me as Leslie leads me toward the changing room while Mike joins my suitors.

Leslie eyes him up and down, her eyes narrowed. “You cannot go in the changing room.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he said with a laugh. “I will need to do a sweep of the room before she enters, but then I will leave her to it. I’m here to protect her—not perv on her. My omega would let me have it if he heard I wasn’t giving her the privacy she needs.”

I pat Leslie’s arm. “Thanks for looking out for me, Leslie, but he’s been working as my security for a few months. We’re old hats at this.”

She nods slowly. “Okay. I’m sorry for assuming.”

“Never be sorry for making sure your clients are safe,” Lucas tells her. “We need more people in the world who worry about others and not just themselves.”

Leslie flushes, ducking her head as we come to a stop. Lucas clears the changing room before leaving me to get changed.

The day is everything I need. Not only do I get to relax and enjoy myself, but I get to know each of my suitors a little better. Being onHeateddoesn’t really facilitate getting to know them overly well during the first week, but it’s enough to let me know what type of men they are.

As we head back to the compound, I find myself considering whether I’ll keep them on the show or not past the first week. Part of me wants to send Sasha home because I know of the three of them, he’s the one who sets my omega off.

She wants him, and I’m not comfortable with that.

That’s not what I want this new pack to be about, do I?

I don’t want to feel like I’m replacing the pack I lost. It’s why I went into this expecting to find men who were willing to accept what I can give them—friendship and family.

Will it be helpful if I find them attractive? Of course it will, but I don’t think Sasha would accept nothing more than friendship and family. He’s looking for love, and as much as I hate to admit it, I can see myself falling for him.

I’m so lost in my thoughts, I don’t speak to my suitors on the way to the compound, but they’re all kind enough not to mention it.

I startle when the SUV comes to a stop. “Are we back already?”

Malik snickers, trying to hide it in his arm, but he doesn’t succeed. “We are.”

“Oh.” Once again, I feel the need to apologize to them but bite it back.

We all climb out of the car, and I wave to Lucas and Mike before leading the way up the path to the mansion. I expect the four of them to leave me once we step inside, but they walk me to my suite instead.

“I believe I can speak for all of us.” Sasha gestures toward the four of them, his deep green nail polish flashing in the lights. “We had wonderful time with you. I will need to make spa time a regular thing from now on. I did not realize what I was missing out on.”

“I also had a good time. Thank you for making the first day so easy.” I reach for the doorknob but pull up short when Sasha’s hand lands on my arm.

Turning back to him, I blink up at him as he smiles down at me. I tense when he leans down, not relaxing until his lips brush against my cheek.

I was so sure he was going to try to kiss me, and I know I’m not ready for that.

Not yet.

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