Page 46 of Bloody Temptations

My belly swoops, heat flooding my limbs with the look in his eye. “Yeah, definitely. Absolutely, we can do that for sure. Looking forward to it.”

When my mouth finally stops moving I slap my palm to my face and groan. It doesn’t cover the sound of Kai’s laugh as he goes to serve the customers, but at least when I open my eyes, Belinda has delivered me a fresh blood-apple martini.

Catching her eye, I raise the glass in salute to her where she’s working hard. Happy to get to sit back and being-watch—and wait for Kai—I savour my victory drink.

Kai does make it back, and by some kind of miracle, we discover that every one of us is available in two weekends. Even better, we have a couple of nights in between where we have more than just an hour or two in between our shifts to catch up.

He makes sure I put everything in my phone calendar—like I have so much going on there is a legitimate risk of me double booking or something—and then he has to get back to it, leaving me to nurse my blood while I watch everyone in the bar.

I think Kai is right—there is something going on with Lifo and Belinda. She’s not as obvious as he is, but whenever she passes him behind the bar—which is a lot—she always maintains way more body contact than she does with anyone else. Kai’s too busy to stop and gossip, so I send him a message.

I probably shouldn’t be hanging around like this; it’s not like Kai is going to have enough time to think, let alone stand around and chat with me. But on top of wanting to make sure everything is actually okay between us, I got bad news today and I’m not quite ready to head home and face it again.

I got a job rejection letter today. I applied for it months ago, when I was still sporadically applying for jobs after I started at ORA. It wasn’tanything special, just a generic administrative role at a medical facility in the city.

Considering how long it’s been since I applied, it’s not like I had any hope about the position or anything. I knew I’d been rejected, but getting the “Thanks, but no thanks” letter after all this time dredged up all those horrible feelings that had made me quit searching in the first place.

It doesn’t matter why I actually got rejected, I will always wonder if it’s because I’m a vamp now. And maybe it’s just the job market here in Osneau. Maybe my resume sucks. But I’ve never had this much trouble getting a job before. I hadmultipleoffers before I accepted my last position. It feels suspicious that now I can’t even get myself an interview. I mean, they have no way of actually knowing for certain that I am, but having to declare my hours of availability as “between sunrise and sunset with some wiggle room for travel” is kind of a flashing neon sign.

The memory of the email, and the way my stomach clenched painfully as I read it, leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, ruining the last of my drink.

Forcing the feelings back down where they belong, I go back to my being-watching. Who knows, there may be someCrumblesworthy drama happening amongst the crowd, and I’m missing it.

But it doesn’t matter what interesting or beautiful beings show up to the bar—and trust me, there are a lot—my attention is always drawn back to Kai. He has the most incredible forearm muscles. One of my favourite things is to watch them flex as he does his tricks with the bottles.

Unfortunately, I’m not the only one who appreciates him. There are always a lot of comments about him and Nikolo but no one has ever been as overt as the being currently pushing themselves intomy personal space. It’s not even like there isn’t plenty of room at the bar—he simply hasn’t registered that I exist and am currently occupying this physical space. Or he just doesn’t care.

“Gods, he is just so hot. Fuck.” The being isn’t too bad looking himself—tall, fit, conventionally handsome. Intimidating. I retreat on instinct, allowing him to take up even more space. “I fucked him once, you know?”

My formerly-delicious martini is now curdling in my stomach. It feels roughly like the time I ate that steak post-change. The pretty guy's friends all fawn with the correct amount of admiration apparently owed for hooking up with Kai and the guy preens under the attention.

“That’s it! Tonight. I’m gonna fuck him again. I don’t usually do repeats but, ugh, his ass is definitely worth it.”

Oh Gods, I think I might actually be sick.

This is it.I realise. It’s like a blow to the stomach, visceral and crippling.This is how it’s always going to be.

Seeing men and women—beings and humans hit on Kai is not a new thing. But tonight I’m feeling extra fragile and it hits in new, even more painful ways. The moment weasels under my skin to poke and prod at every insecurity I have.

It burns me from within, clawing at my insides while I listen to Pretty Boy and his friends talk about Kai and Nikolo with increasing vulgarity.

Some masochistic need to torture myself keeps me rooted to my stool. I don’t move. I don’t speak. I don’t think.

Pretty Boy and his equally pretty friends have boxed me out of the bar, cutting me off from my drink in the process. When Kai comes back to serve them, all I can see is the back of his head in the bar mirrors. It doesn’t matter that I can hear him shutting themdown—albeit in a friendly and flirty kind of way. All I can see is them and their hungry eyes all over him, like salivating dogs.

How can you compete with this? What do you have to offer him? How do you even compare?

My circling thoughts have them becoming bigger in my mind, monstrous in their sheer beauty. Bloody Temptations no longer exists. It’s just these obscenely beautiful beings and Kai, my imagination throwing them together in scenes, each more outrageous and salacious than the last until I want to hurl.

I’m so caught up in my own twisted imaginings I don’t even notice they’ve gone. Kai shakes me roughly until I become aware of my surroundings once again.

Wincing against the resurging pounding of music in my ears and the headache piercing my skull, I meet Kai’s worried eyes. His thumb traces a delicate circle on my hand. Sweet and comforting.

Just like him.

“You okay?” He asks, brows furrowed.

My mouth opens and closes a few times while I try to find my voice. Everything tingles.

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