Page 22 of Accidentally Joining His Cult

“Change my mind about hooking up?” Cody asks, still mumbling.

“Yeah, I know you were the one to suggest a hook up after I asked you on our date, but if you don’t want to do that anymore, that’s okay. I won’t pretend that I’m not bummed because I mean, look at you,” I can’t help checking him out again. “You’re the sexiest man I’ve ever met,” I say with a laugh. “But, consent is also very important. I didn’t mean to pressure you into anything by agreeing to share a room,” I ramble, hoping that he’ll snap out of his confused state to stop me and explain what's happening.

“You think I’m the sexiest man you’ve ever met?”Why does he sound so shocked?Has he not looked in a mirror recently? At least he finally meets my gaze for this question.

“Easily. Have you seen yourself?” I laugh again, gesturing my hand in his direction because I don’t know what else to do at this point. We’re both still standing about an arm's length apart, staring at each other with confusion.

“Wait. Our date? We went on a date? Like a romantic one?” His tone elevates a little with each question, and my heart sinks.

Fuck.

I really hope there’s a better explanation than the conclusion I’m jumping to. But as the reality of his confusion sinks in, I can only think of one question, and I know that I have to ask.

“Cody, are you straight?”

CHAPTEREIGHT

Cody

“Cody, are you straight?” Beck asks, sounding so disappointed.

The truth is, until this morning, I’d never once questioned it. I’ve always considered myself an ally of the queer community—fully supportive and open-minded.But being part of it?That’s never been something I thought applied to me.

I’m twenty-eight years old, and I’ve exclusively dated and slept with women. Being straight seemed like an obvious part of who I am.

I’ve always been able to identify if a man is attractive, but I’ve never looked at one and thought, “I really want to see him naked”.

Until maybe now.

As I had that thought, it was quickly followed by, “I wonder what Beck looks like naked” and my dick is definitely a part of this conversation. It’s been thickening since he slammed the door and backed me into it.

I did have a frat brother who’s gay who used to talk about his hookups very openly, and they always sounded really hot, but talking about sex is always hot, right? It doesn’t matter if it’s with a girl or a guy.That doesn’t sound very straight either. Huh.

Beck is still staring at me, waiting for an answer I’m not sure I can give him. “I thought I was,” I finally choke out.

He somehow looks even more confused. “You thought you were straight?” he clarifies.

I nod stupidly as I continue to think about Beck and all the nerves I’ve had around him today. All of the excitement about seeing him again, and how much I’ve enjoyed talking to him over the last few weeks. Was that just normal friendship stuff… or is something else happening here?

He said that he asked me on a date. And now that I think about it… okay, yeah, that dinner at that fancy restaurant could have totally been a date. And the way we were smiling and laughing the whole time…

Fuck.Are we dating?

Am I so oblivious that I didn’t even realize I’ve been dating a man?

More importantly, why does the thought of dating Beck make my stomach all fluttery?Do I want to be dating him?

All of these thoughts and questions fly through my head as he slowly takes a seat at the dining table. I’m way too hyped up right now as I think through all of this to sit down, but I go to the table and hold on to the back of one of the other chairs.

“So, does that mean you were questioning your sexuality?” he finally asks, sounding a little hurt as he continues, avoiding looking my way as he stares down at the table. “Was I an experiment, and now that the moment is here, you’ve confirmed that you’re straight?”

“What? No!” I sit down next to him and take his hand, needing him to hear and see me as I say, “The opposite, I think.”

That gets him to look up, and he hasn’t pulled his hand away, so I think that’s a good sign that I haven’t completely offended him. “What’s the opposite of that? You were gay until you went out with me, and now I’ve ruined men for you? Awesome. That’s a real confidence boost.”

Fuck. I’m somehow continuing to make this worse.

“No! Not that! I’ve always thought that I was straight. Up until today, actually,” I admit. I wish that I could explain this better so that he wouldn’t still look so disappointed and confused. “But now that I know you want to kiss me and that we went on a date, I’m reevaluating the feelings I’ve been having around you and about you. I’m realizing that I’m an idiot,” I say with a laugh.

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