Page 26 of Icebreaker

A faint smile appeared on his face. "Thank you. I appreciate that."

"And you know I'm not going anywhere."

Axel stared into my eyes. "Do you really mean that?"

I spoke in a deeper than usual voice…as much to convince myself as Axel. "Absolutely. I want to build a future with you where we can both be ourselves and leave the past behind."

I thought I saw a flicker of hope in his eyes. "That would be great."

We spent another hour talking. We shared observations about the Lumberjacks and our prospects for squeaking into the playoffs in the spring. "But it's a long season," we both agreed.

"Imagine how good our team could be by then." I leaned forward. "With your mentoring and my leadership on the ice, we could challenge the top teams."

Axel nodded. "It's good to have big dreams."

When we left the coffee shop, Axel pulled me into a warm hug. I breathed in his scent while relief flooded my mind and body.

"Thanks for being here for me," he whispered.

"Always. We'll get through this. It's just a bump in the road."

***

Just as I thought we'd weathered the worst of the storm, Dante started to pop up everywhere: at the rink, at a gym we liked to visit outside the arena, and even at the grocery store. He frequently smiled and waved, claiming he was trying to mend fences.

Whenever Dante was around, I saw pain in Axel's eyes. He tensed and gritted his teeth. He assured me that he had no intention of letting his ex back into his life, but I couldn't shake a sense that he couldn't stop it.

"I don't trust him," I confessed one night as we relaxed and watched TV, tangled up on Axel's couch. "He hurt you, and I worry that he'll do it again."

Axel sighed and traced idle patterns on my forearm. "I'm not sure I trust him either, but part of me says we should hear him out for closure."

I swallowed hard and tried to ignore the lump of fear in my gut. "I understand, but be careful, okay? I don't want to give him any openings."

Despite the heartfelt conversations, Axel had grown distant again. It was like living life as a yo-yo. The calls and texts were fewer and further between, and his words were short and emotionless.

At practice, he avoided eye contact and focused on the ice. He was all but silent around our teammates.

I lingered by the locker room entrance one morning, nursing a heavy heart. When Axel walked in, he glanced at me briefly before hurrying to his stall. He kept his head down, and his movements were stiff like a robot.

I watched him and missed him even though we occupied the same space. A suffocating silence had replaced our usual banter. I watched him rummage through his equipment, the line of his shoulders tight beneath his t-shirt.

After stepping closer, I asked the question that plagued my mind daily. "Is everything okay?"

"I'm fine, Quinn. Just need to stay focused on the game."

The words felt like a punch to the gut. They rejected the connection we'd worked so hard to build. I was hurt and frustrated.

I stepped even closer. "Axel, please. I know life's been tough for you lately, but shutting me out doesn't solve anything. I'm here to help. Remember?"

He turned his head to look at me, and for a moment, I thought I spotted a flicker of the old warmth in his eyes. It faded as quickly as it came, and he shook his head. "I know, but I need to handle this my way. I can't…I can't drag you into my disaster."

I heard pain in his voice, and my gut clenched. I wanted to pull him into my arms and chase away all of the bad things that haunted him. Unfortunately, he'd erected an impenetrable wall between us.

I tried to argue. "You wouldn't be dragging me into anything. "I'm here because I want to be. Don't you see that?"

"I'm sorry. I just…I need the space to figure everything out."

It had been painfully apparent that Dante's reappearance had shaken Axel to his core, letting loose demons he thought he'd buried. As much as I wanted to be his port in the storm, I wondered whether our connection was strong enough to weather whatever lay ahead.

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