Page 1 of Fall Hard

CHAPTERONE

Love sucks.I wasn’t much of an expert, I’d only really fallen once—but there was only one thing worse than loving someone who didn’t love you, and that was watching them fall in love with someone else. So there I was, about to do something that was probably a terrible idea—but lately all my ideas seemed terrible, so what could one more hurt?

I’d gotten to the club earlier than I cared to admit and immediately headed to the bar for a drink—I’d made a mistake not having anything before I came out, that was for sure. Luckily, the neon rainbow stripes that encased the front of the bar had made it easy to spot and I’d claimed a seat there on the tall black bar stools with ease.

I had been to a club only once in my life, when I’d just turned eighteen and managed to sneak out of the house, and I’d forgotten how loud and… sticky, they were. Dark too, only the rainbow lights tracing the edges of the walls, DJ booth, and the small smattering of tables tucked into a few alcoves adding a soft multi-coloured glow to the room.

The girl I’d been watching for the past half-hour pushed away from the bar and made her way to a packed corner of the club. Her blonde hair was an unnatural white that seemed to change color with the disco lights and was almost the same color as her skin. I kept my eyes on her retreating figure as she paused by a skinny white guy wearing a ripped tee emblazoned with Britney Spears’ face. Her hand dipped into the pocket of her high waisted jeans as she leaned in close to the guy, then she moved back to the bar. Done. Easy. I could do this. Probably.

I sighed, barely even feeling the buzz of the last three drinks I’d had against the strange tingling numbness that moved through my chest recently. It had been happening for a while, ever since I’d moved to Sun City and accidentally fallen in love with my best friend.

She was out with everyone else right now, gone to some football match her boyfriend, Ryan, was playing in and I’d told them I had to study. I snorted into my cocktail at the thought. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d gone to class.

I waited til she reclaimed her seat a little further down from mine and then I ordered another drink, the steady pulse of Christina Aguilera’sDirtymaking my heart feel like it thudded too hard. Her top was red and off the shoulders, not unlike something Jamie might have worn—

I gulped the drink the bartender handed me as I shook off the thought.

“Whoa. Steady there. You know they put alcohol in those things, right?” The girl grinned at me and I swallowed before offering her a smile. If you didn’t know better, then what I was about to ask her might seem perfectly natural coming from my lips—tonight, I looked the epitome of a party girl. I’d loosely curled my hair and let it run free over my shoulders, put on my highest pink velvet chunky heels and let my sparkly eye make-up be the only accessory needed to match the pink sequin mini dress.

“Well, there’s a little mixer too. Got to stay hydrated.” I laughed breathlessly and bit my lip as the girl’s eyes moved over my bronze legs, made longer by my heels, and back up to my face. “Listen…” I leaned in close and a flirty smile tugged up the corners of her mouth. “I, um, was wondering if you have any pills?”

She leaned back, a look that might have been disappointment flashing across her face as a cheer went out in the crowd at the next song, before she nodded. “Sure. What are you looking for?”

“Ah, you know.”

An eyebrow raised at my answer and I wanted to curse. “Sure, but do you?” I didn’t answer and she rolled her eyes. “Look, are you sure you want to—”

“I’m sure,” I said firmly. “I’ve just never done this before. My friend usually buys,” I lied, clearing my throat a little and her eyes narrowed slightly before she nodded.

“Fine. How many do you want?”

“Just one.”

Another eyebrow raise. Crap. I was so clearly out of my depth. I’d thought this would be good for me, to get out of my own head for a while, but maybe it was just another mistake.

“Thirty,” the girl said and I barely held in my surprise. That seemed like a lot for one pill, but I couldn’t say for sure if she was ripping me off or if I was just hopelessly naive. Either way, it didn’t matter. Thirty dollars was nothing in the face of the inheritance my parents had given me to essentially stay out of their lives, another form of hush money—their signature move.

I slipped the cash out of my clutch and she rolled her eyes as I tried to be surreptitious about it and failed.

“Have a good night,” she said dryly, handing me a clear baggie and then shoving away from the bar.

“You too,” I murmured, the words lost in an old Taylor Swift song as I shook the pill free and examined it closely. Was I supposed to take the whole thing? I glanced around to see if I could maybe ask the white-haired drug dealer but she’d disappeared into the crowd on the dancefloor. I didn’t even know what this thing was or how it would make me feel—what if I had an allergic reaction? I tried to shake the thought off.What would Jamie do?

Jamie would have already taken the pill by now and not given it a second thought. Yet here I was, having second, third, and fourth thoughts. I didn’t need to do this—not to have a good time, and not to prove anything. But I just felt like I needed…something. Change, or maybe just an end to the aching hollowness that seemed to follow me around lately. It had been a rough year.

My palms were getting sweaty and I tossed the pill back and forth between my hands, not wanting it to melt or something.Just do it.I let out a slow breath as I brought my hand to my mouth and then paused. Was I supposed to swallow it whole? Chew it? Crap, I should have just asked Jamie—

I reined my thoughts in before I could get lost in my own head again, wondering what she was doing right now, whether the match had ended and they’d all gone toThe Boxfor drinks after.She’s with Ryan. Her boyfriend. Having a great time without you.

I swiveled the seat so I faced outwards and could watch the dancers, the ache in my chest reverberating around the bass of the music.

She was the reason I’d come here. Jamie. Or one of them, at least.

There were people like Jamie, so comfortable in their skin it seemed almost inhuman to me. She’d had her nudes leaked by her ex and was barely phased. She didn’t break. How could you not envy someone like that? Who knows exactly who they are?

“For you,” the green-haired bartender said from behind me and I looked up in surprise as a shot of tequila was placed next to me on the purple counter, alongside a cocktail.

“Oh, sorry! I didn’t order this.”

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