Page 19 of Fall Hard

I stood reluctantly but was relieved to see an amused smile turning up the corners of her lips before I walked away.Get her number.This wouldn’t be that hard, surely. Unless she wasn’t into girls… that would make things pretty difficult.

I cleared my throat lightly as I approached the girl, her blonde-white hair shining in the sunshine and pulled up into a high-pony. “Hey.”

She swiveled to look at me and my mouth went dry. Crap.

“Oh. Hi. Need more pills?”

Of all the people Bryn could have picked for me to ask out, she’d managed to find the only one that had ever sold me drugs.

“Um.” Oh God, what should I say? That my friend sent me over to ask her out but sorry, I didn’t realize you were my drug dealer? Should I just buy some drugs to make it less awkward? I could feel the heat in my face growing and sincerely wished that the earth would open and swallow me whole. “I, um—”

I turned around without another word and walked quickly back over to the table where Bryn sat, an alarmed look on her face at whatever expression I now wore.

“What the hell happened?” she whisper-shouted as I tucked in my chair as quickly as possible. Maybe the woman behind us didn’t care and just figured I was a weirdo, but my imagination told me eyes were boring into my back anyway.

“We need to leave,” I said through clenched teeth. “Now.”

“Liv, it can’t have been that bad—”

My chair made a loud screech against the pavement as I stood. “Now.”

To her credit, Bryn didn’t argue again—just quickly tucked in her chair and let me lead the way down the path through the park at what was probably a ridiculous pace until she grabbed a hold of my arm and tugged me to a stop.

“What happened? Was she rude to you?” Bryn looked back in the direction we’d fled from like she was about to storm the coffee shop and give that girl a piece of her mind. I quickly shook my head.

“You tried to set me up with my drug dealer.”

“I—what?” Bryn closed her eyes and opened them again slowly, like that might help her process the words that had just come out of my mouth. “Since when do you have a drug dealer?”

“Since I went toLusciousand bought a pill for the first time ever—So now I’d go to her for drugs, not a date!”

Bryn folded her arms across her chest and my gaze dropped for just half a second. “Drug dealers are people too, you know.”

“Sure, but that doesn’t mean I want to date one.”

Her lip twitched. “Think of the discounts.”

I shook my head but couldn’t stop the smile spreading across my face anyway. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You love it.”

I kind of did. Bryn was a very different kind of friend than Kat, Jamie, or anyone else I’d had before. It felt like we were in our own little club, one the rest of the world and its problems couldn’t infringe on in the way that they did when I was with the other girls.

“So what’s next?” I asked, mainly to stop the strange track my thoughts had spiraled down. “Obviously that didn’t work out, but I won’t hold it against you too much.”

Bryn turned slowly, threading her arm through mine as we started walking back in the direction of the apartment. “Exposure therapy.”

I grimaced. “That doesn’t sound fun.” She steered me clear of the path once there was a break in the trees and flopped down onto the grass to sit in the sunshine. “You’re going to get grass stains on your dress,” I protested and she waved away my words as I sat down beside her.

“We’ll try the whole date thing again another time, for now let’s focus on your list and finding the things thatyouenjoy.”

That didn’t sound too bad. Part of the reason I struggled to know what I wanted out of life was probably because I’d never been allowed to explore it, or find my own way. I didn’t have a bad childhood by any stretch of the imagination, but my parents were controlling—suffocating me in a way that I now realized was just as damaging as anything else.

“Though there are a couple of things I want to add that I think will help you with your… existential crisis.” I snorted but waved for her to continue. “Okay, first, you’re coming back to yoga with me. Tonight. You need to get out of the house more.”

I didn’t reply, too distracted by the huge, fluffy dog running towards us at full pelt before its owner called it back. Bryn nudged me with her foot and I refocused, my smile fading.

“Fine, fine.”

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