Page 20 of Fall Hard

Bryn nodded. “And I want you to try and find a new hobby.”

That was probably the vaguest thing I’ve ever heard. “What about yoga?” I whined and she threw me a look that made me widen my eyes innocently.

“Anewhobby. I know that wasn’t your first class.”

Had she been watching me?

“Are you at least going to try these new hobbies with me?”

“No,” she said gently, tilting her head up to the sky to soak in the sun. “You have to do some things by yourself, Liv. I can’t tell you who to be or who you are, that’s for you to figure out.”

“Where do you get all this wise-crap?”

“I’ve had too much therapy in my life to not pick up a few things.” She eyed me shrewdly, squinting past her eyelashes. “You should consider going.”

“Noted,” I said dryly and she grinned. “And the ‘exposure therapy’ you mentioned?” I almost didn’t want to ask.

“You’re going to hang out with Jamie, and Jamie and Ryan.” The expression on my face clearly let Bryn know what I thought about this plan. “You need to be around them and see them together without feeling bad about it. Jamie is your friend, so let’s just get you used to being around them instead of avoiding them like the plague all the time.”

I nodded reluctantly. “I guess that makes sense.”

“Think of it like… Drinking hot coffee after you already burned your mouth, it might sting but eventually you’ll stop feeling the burn.”

“Deep.”

“I’ve got a lot of bullshit analogies stored in here,” she said, tapping the side of her head as we watched a car on the other side of the park drive past way too fast

I snorted. “All that therapy… It explains why you’re so creepily well-adjusted.”

“Thank you.” She grinned as she tilted her head back toward the sky. “Have you heard anything more from your course leader?”

“Not really.” I wrinkled my nose and held my breath against a sneeze as the pollen drifted up. “I’ve been trying not to think about it.”

“Have you been to class at all since you spoke to them?”

“Nope,” I said, wincing, and Bryn didn’t reply. I peeked up at her, wondering if I would find disapproval on her face but instead found the opposite.

“Good. There’s no point investing your time in something that you hate.” She smiled slightly as she watched me. “You seem surprised I’d say that.”

“Well, you just seem so… studious.”

“I enjoy learning and I’m excited to be a lawyer. You don’t know what you want to do yet, but I have full faith that you’ll throw yourself into it one-hundred-percent once you figure it out. You should take her up on her offer of the taster sessions though, another class might be better.”

Hearing that somehow relaxed me. Even though I knew I wasn’t getting anything out of my course right now, I still felt guilty for skipping, for defying expectations. It was hard to shake the feeling that doing whatIthought was right might somehow be a disappointment to others.

“Is that a command?” I teased and Bryn sat up straight.

“You bet your ass it is.”

“I’m willing to try,” I said, and it was true. But I was pretty sure that I was done with academia, it wasn’t the subject so much as the institution at this point.

I laid back against the grass beside Bryn and sighed as the sun warmed my skin. “This has been a good day.”

“Even though I made you ask out your drug dealer?”

I chuckled. “Even though you made me ask out my drug dealer.”

“I’m glad you asked me to help you, Liv.”

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