Page 29 of The One for Me
“Maybe.”
“I didn’t think he had any interest in settling down,” she says offhandedly. But I know my sister-in-law, and there’s no innocence to her question. “I mean, I don’t know anything about him other than what you’ve told me. He just hasn’t had many relationships, has he?”
“No, Sean has always been married to the game.”
“Do you think there’s something that could change that?”
Now I stare at her with a smirk. “Are you trying to ask me something?”
“Obviously.” Hazel slaps my arm playfully. “You told me about the kiss, and now you’re living with him . . .”
“It’s only been two weeks. Two. I’m not living with him, I’m just . . . getting my options straight and figuring out a plan.”
“Did he kiss you again?”
I really don’t want to answer this.
I turn back to where Austin is up to bat and focus there.
Hazel chuckles. “Avoid away, Dev, but you answered without answering.”
“Yes, he kissed me again. The night he showed up on my doorstep, but it didn’t mean anything. It was also the last time his lips will touch mine. See that?” I jerk my head toward the girls. “There is no way I want to toss my hat in that ring.”
“Yeah you do. If I wasn’t married, I’d be right next to them, and you could call me Hussy Hazel for all I cared.”
I laugh under my breath and shake my head. “You’re insane.”
“Yes, but you are as well. You have feelings for him, and by the way he keeps looking up at you, I’d say they’re reciprocal.”
I don’t have to tell Hazel all the reasons why letting my feelings make the choices is a bad thing, but perhaps she needs the reminder. “The last time I let my heart lead the way, I ended up broken.”
“There is good that came from that experience, Devney.”
“Yes, but also a lot of pain.”
She takes my hand in hers. “Don’t let the past dictate your future. If you and Sean can only be a bit of fun, then have that fun. You are going to be thirty this year, and you haven’t allowed yourself to live. I’m not talking about your tepid relationship with Oliver or what happened when you were in college.”
She’s right, but I have my reasons, and we both know it. I like safety and consistency. I want to know that, at the end of the day, my little life won’t be in upheaval and things will be as they should be.
“Oliver was safe.”
It wouldn’t be the same with Sean.
His life is not his own. He lives and dies by his schedule. And I get it.
It’s how he makes a living.
“Yes, and safe can be boring. You have a limited amount of time to have some damn fun.”
“And when he leaves?” I ask Hazel.
“You let him go.”
“Just like that?”
She shrugs. “It sounds easy enough, right?”
“Sean kissed me and look what happened. Oliver left for Wyoming, I’m living in Sean’s house because my mother and I finally had it out, and I have no plan. None. What the hell am I going to do, Hazel?”
