Page 119 of Stay for Me
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t punish me for Luke’s crimes.”
The tears fall down her face. “I’m not. You have to leave, and I have to figure out how to direct a play.”
I take a step back, hating that this is where we’re at. “So, it doesn’t matter at all that I really have no choice or that I’m going to do everything I can, pull every string and call in every favor, to get back here in time? That doesn’t count for anything?”
Again with the silence.
“That’s it then?”
“It’s reality, right? It’s the way it is. I’m going to move forward like I always have.”
I nod slowly, tongue to the back of my teeth, completely floored by how easy that was for her. I’m over here, agonizing over having to do this, and she’s just . . . done.
“I see. You’re moving forward . . . right.”
Tears fall down her cheeks. “You were supposed to be different.Wewere supposed to be different.”
I laugh once. “You’re punishing me because of him. You’re acting as though this is what I’m always going to do, and you’re going to throw away what we have because of it.”
“I’m not throwing anything away, Jacob. I’m not leaving. I’m dealing with the situation, and while you go to work, like you have to, I’ll be keeping my kids and myself from feeling the disappointment.”
“I was fucking wrecked at the idea of coming here and telling you that thismighthappen. Not because I thought you’d compare me to Luke but because the mere idea of disappointing you and Sebastian was too much. But I see it now, Brenna. It doesn’t matter what I say or how hard I try, I will always live in his shadow.”
She doesn’t love me. If she did, maybe she’d see that I’m doing the best I can. That I have made every effort to do right by her.
Brenna lets out a long breath, and a new wave of tears fall. “That’s not fair. You show up here, drop this on me, and want me to be all, sure, honey, go to work, I’ll handle it all. Knowing everything you know about my past, about the day Luke died, did you think this wouldn’t hurt?”
“Believe me, I knew this would hurt you and I was in agony over it. What I didn’t expect is this. You to compare me to him. I told you this was my reality, and you said we’d work it out, that as long as we talked, we could get through anything. And here we are, my first fucking misstep and you shut me out. That’s what hurts.”
I wait for her to tell me that we can. That she loves me. That we’ll find a way once I get back, but instead, her lower lip trembles and she straightens her back. “You should go, you have a flight to catch.”
She turns her back and walks to the door. I hate myself for standing here. Of all the things that just happened, this is what I know I’ll regret most—watching her walk away.
When she gets to the door, she pauses. “I’ll never regret loving you.”
That single statement angers me more than any other word we’ve said to each other in the last five minutes. I make my way up to where she is, hurt and frustration rolling through me. “You’ll regret all of this when I’m back here tomorrow and you see that you could’ve been understanding instead of destroying us.”
Then I leave because there’s nothing to stay for anymore.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Brenna
Ilean against the door, fighting every urge to run back out there and tell him I was stupid. I did exactly what he said, I’m using my past issues with Luke against him, and it’s not fair.
But his taillights are long gone and there’s something deep inside me that tells me not to ignore what I’m feeling.
Melanie comes in the room. “Are you crying? Is everything okay?”
I shake my head and attempt to smile. “It’s fine. Jacob has to leave for California, and it just . . . took me by surprise.”
“Is he going to miss tomorrow?”
I shrug. “He’s going to try to make it back.”
She walks over and gives me a big hug. “Oh, Mom. I’m so sorry.”
