Page 123 of Return to Us
“No,” I answer honestly. “I’m not.”
When she picked me up, she knew I couldn’t talk. Tears were relentless, and I sobbed so hard my chest physically hurt. I just kept saying, “Please, beach house.”
So, she drove to Stella’s, tried to relay what little she knew, and Stella pulled me into her arms and gave me the key. I slept for maybe an hour and then got in the car to drive here. Funny how the first time I actually drove again was to come to this place.
“Can you tell me what happened?”
I sit on the couch, turning the light on and pulling the blanket around me. It’s freezing in here, but I’m too exhausted to get up. “He ended things. It’s complicated, and I’m . . . I don’t know, but it’s been hours and he hasn’t called.”
“Did you tell him about the baby?”
“No, I didn’t get that far, and then . . . I couldn’t. He was adamant about us being done and telling him felt like it would be a way to hold on to him.”
Delia sighs deeply. “So, now what?”
“Now, I nurse my broken heart and figure it out, I guess. I’m pregnant, that’s a fact. I’m cleared, and I need to come up with a plan.”
“Are you going to leave?”
The question hangs out there, heavy and unsettling. “I don’t know. A part of me kept waiting for him to call and beg me to forgive him, but he hasn’t. I thought that he was a rational man who didn’t act like this and that he would wake up and see what a dick he was.”
“It could still happen.”
“Each hour that passes makes it harder to believe that.”
“Well,” Delia’s voice is soft, “if it makes your decision any easier, I want you to stay. I know that you’re hurting, but the truth is, once Grayson finds out about the baby, he’s not going to walk away. That’s not who he is.”
“I know that.”
“He expects you to leave. I think that’s why he was being such an idiot. He’s watched person after person he loves turn away.”
“He pushed me out, Deals.”
“I know, and he deserves to deal with that, don’t get me wrong, but you both love each other.”
She’s right. Even now, when I feel like I could curl into a ball and cry a river, I love him. He’s angry, and that’s fine, but I am not going to be his proverbial punching bag.
“He has to realize that himself.”
“Are you going to hide at the beach house until he does?”
That would be all too easy, but I came here because I hoped he’d come for me. He’d know that I was here, waiting for him, because it’s our house. We might not own it, but it’s ours.
I rest my head back on the pillow, wrapping the blanket around me tighter. “I don’t know.”
“Okay.”
“I just need a few days. Maybe then I can get my head straight and form a plan that doesn’t make me sob. I want to tell him about the baby, but only after I know what I’m doing. That way, the choice is what it is and not based on him and what he wants.”
“That makes sense.”
“Does it?” I ask with a laugh. “I feel like it’s all crap. The truth is that I want him to see that I’m not his ex or the same girl as I was before.”
Delia covers the phone, speaking to someone and then comes back to me. “Sorry, I have to get back to work. I’m here if you need me.”
“Thanks. Just . . . please don’t tell him where I am.”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
