Page 45 of Return to Us
“I just executed her vision.”
Delia sighs deeply. “I love kids. I really thought we’d all be married and working on babies by now.”
Jack shudders. “Not me.”
“Please, you were the one who wanted to be married even more than those two,” Delia points at me and Grayson.
I bristle. “Grayson and I didn’t plan to get married.”
“We didn’t?”
I turn to him. “When did we plan it?”
“I don’t know . . . the ten thousand times we talked about life?”
“Those were just dreams not plans.”
Grayson’s eyes darken, and he clenches his fists before releasing them. “Right. I guess I was mistaken.”
Jack sits up, forcing Delia to do the same. “And I thought you guys were totally over everything. You know, that shit was all in the past.”
“It is,” Grayson says with a clipped tone.
“Yeah, totally appears that way,” Delia adds on. I turn to my best friend, a little miffed that she’s encouraging this. “What?”
Jack stands, offering his hand to her. “Why don’t we take a walk, Deals?”
She follows him, turning back to me and mouthing,sorry.
Great. Now we’re alone in this house with his daughter sleeping in the next room, both of us on edge after what Jack said. What could possibly go wrong?
Once they’re gone, I turn to Gray, wanting to smooth this over. Today has been a great day. I had so much fun, and I don’t think my words were jumbled once. It’s the best I’ve felt in the last month and a half since the crash.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to downplay anything we shared.”
He sighs. “You didn’t. It’s just this house.”
I understand that more than anything. It’s filled with us, the good and bad, which is probably why I haven’t beeninthe room I was assigned. It’s the master bedroom, and it’s exactly what I remember.
Just opening the door I felt as if I had been hit in the chest and it made it impossible for me to take a step inside it.
So, my bags sit just on the inside of the door. I’m such a coward that I changed in the bathroom down the hall.
I don’t want to be afraid, but I don’t know if I can tell him everything, so I start where it feels safest. “Even when we forget things or make ourselves try, it’s like the world won’t ever really release it. After we broke up, there were times when I’d hear a song and I was back to a moment we shared. Or I’d hear a laugh, and I’d swear it was you.”
“Did you want it to be?”
I swallow and look away. “Sometimes I . . . I was sad when it ended.”
Grayson shifts so his hand rests on my thigh. “Answer the question, Jess. Did you want it to be me?”
The heat from his touch, the way I feel it all the way in my marrow, makes it hard to think. My brain, it’s scrambling, I can feel the words. “You. We. Jump.”
He touches my chin, turning it gently toward him. I can see the questions swimming in those blue eyes. I would know that unique color anywhere. If I were to close my eyes, I would be able to draw them perfectly. The deep blue in the center that lightens as it goes, and the specks of green that fray right at the edges. So perfectly him.
“Take a second. Breathe,” he coaxes.
I do. I focus, allowing the thoughts to form more concretely. My lashes lift, and his face is so close it makes my chest ache. Instead of speaking, we move at the same time, and his lips are on mine or mine are on his.
