Page 96 of Return to Us
Seeing the place that Grayson wants to renovate into being his own inn was . . . too much. I still can’t fully understand how he’s owned this property for years and never showed anyone other than Melia.
He shakes his head, standing and pulling his shorts on. “I don’t want to tear you apart, Jess. I want to be the man who keeps you together.”
“Which is what you’re doing, but it’s terrifying.”
He touches my cheek. “It’s why I said slow.”
I give him a sad smile. “Right. But how do I slow down what I feel? None of what we’re doing is slow.”
I can see the hesitation in his eyes. “I’m trying too.”
“I know that, but tell me. Tell me, how do I slow my heart from calling out for you?”
“You don’t.”
“That doesn’t freaking help!”
He sighs deeply. “Jack said some shit about life being about the moments, and he’s right. We may only have months or maybe longer, but no matter how much time we get together, I want it all. I want to kiss you, make love to you, talk to you when I can because we’ve gone without each other.”
I nod as a tear falls. “I knew that the minute I saw you again, I would be right here and I’d never want to leave. I knew that I would love you so easily because you have always been the man I wanted. I also fear what it means because I struggle to reconcile the two parts of me.”
“I’m not trying to trap you, Jess. I don’t want to take from you, but I won’t lie to you about how I feel. I’m not going to let opportunities like this pass.”
“I know. It’s the fear of what it means to stay here,” I tell him. “What my life would look like and what it means for you too.”
His head jerks back slightly. “If you’re talking about my family . . .”
“Of course I am. They hate me. Your mother has made it abundantly clear I’m not welcome. What kind of a future is that for us?”
“Why do you think that matters?”
This sweet man. He is nuts to think that none of that will affect us. We both work for the company his father still owns. It would be so easy for them to ruin everything for him just to get at me.
“Because we both know it does.”
He runs his hand through his hair. The nervous habit he’s had since he was a kid. “Let me worry about them.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Nothing is simple, but what’s the alternative? We walk away from this? From us?”
I can’t let myself think about that right now. Not when he makes me feel this way. Grayson is filling the holes in my heart. Each day, each kiss, each time he looks at me like I’m the reason he breathes is healing me.
Already, the idea of leaving him hurts too much.
I walk to him and press my open palm over his heart. “No, we just . . . we live in the moment, like you said. We temper our desires and be realistic about what it all means.”
“I showed you the future, Jessica. I gave you everything you needed to see yesterday. The fears you have about my family aren’t mine.”
My breathing grows more intense as I stare up into his eyes. “So, you’d just walk away?”
“For you?”
His hand moves up my spine, sending waves of delicious heat through my limbs. “I’ve never stopped loving you, Jessica. Not one single day. I would tell you, but . . .”
“But what?” The dryness in my throat gets so intense that I barely manage to get the question out.
“Slow, Jess. We go slow.”
