Page 56 of You Loved Me Once
This isn’t about just him and his wife. I’m sure that’s not easy for him, but if I say something, I’m risking everyone.
“I’m not just anyone.”
He’s right. He was once more than that, but he’s not anymore. “No, you’re Allison’s husband, and she needs you.”
Bryce takes two strides and pulls me into his arms. He holds me, tucking his head in my neck. My arms are down at my sides, and I can’t move. For years I’ve wondered how this would feel and it’s exactly like I dreamed. I close my eyes, breathing in the musky cologne that is all him, committing it to memory. His soft hair touches my cheek, and I fight the urge to rub my face against him. My heart races and the world around me disappears as the man I loved more than anything is touching me.
This is wrong, but I can’t make him stop.
I don’t know how long we stand like this, like two lost people searching for something to hold onto, but the sound of his sob breaks me. I wrap my arms around him, holding him close as he cries.
After a few seconds, he releases me. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay...”
“No, it’s not. Fuck.” Bryce rubs his temples. “I hate this. I hate that I’m falling apart. I hate watching her suffer. I hate that I have to lie about all of this.”
I step back, needing air and some space. “Lie about what?”
I’m the one who is going through hell lying to Westin, Julie, him, Allison, my patients, and most of all myself.
“This. Us. That we know each other.”
“It was your idea not to tell her,” I remind him. “You didn’t want her to know what we were.”
He leans against the wall across from me, both of us keeping our distance.
“Not that, I can’t do this. I can’t feel like this and I can’t ask you what I want to. I have to go back to her...” He looks down the hall.
Back to her.
Back to the woman he belongs to.
“Yeah, you should.” I look down at the ground.
Bryce doesn’t say another word, he pushes off the wall and walks away, leaving me a complete mess. Just like the night I left him.
“So we’ll talk every day?” I ask again as I stand in the driver’s side door.
“Every day.”
“And you won’t forget about me?”
Bryce rolls his eyes and then takes my hand. “Do you see this?” He lifts my hand with the diamond sitting there. “This is not something I’d forget. It’s my grandmother’s ring, it’s a family heirloom and only family wear it. You’re mine. You’re my family, Chick.”
I do my best not to swoon right here, but sometimes, the man says just what I need to hear. “You’re mine too, Bryce Peyton.” My hand rests on his chest and I hold back the tears. “Don’t you forget it.”
He smiles at me as though I’m crazy, and maybe I am. I have loved this man for the last two years in a way that has left me stunned. I’m still unsure that I’m making the right choice going to Chicago, but I’m hopeful we’ll stay strong.
“I’ll see you in a few weeks.”
I nod. “And then we’ll see each other a few weeks after that.”
“We have to keep making plans because you and I don’t let the other down.”
“No,” I say with a sigh, “we don’t.”
He leans in, kissing me softly. “I hate that you’re not coming with me, but I understand why you’re not.”
