Page 9 of You Loved Me Once
The phone disconnects, I grab a banana, and rush out the door. Time to make a difference in modern medicine.
Chapter 3
On the walk to work, I go over the plan for my day in my mind. I want everything to go perfectly, however, I’m not stupid enough to believe that will happen. I’ve been a doctor long enough to know the only plan I should expect is chaos.
Today will be a little different since I’m going to be split between my trial and current patients. Twenty-five patients were admitted into this round of the trial, each with varying early stages of ovarian cancer. My research has shown that this medicinal cocktail that I put together should help significantly reduce the size of the tumor that is left if the patient wants to keep her ovaries and uterus. If I’m able to debulk enough of the tumor and leave the ovaries intact before the cancer is at stage II, I can treat the remaining cancer with this drug and the patient can keep everything without a hysterectomy. For any woman still wanting children, this will hopefully become an option. I can get them cancer free, and leave the possibility of having a baby open to them.
At least that’s the goal.
I stand before the hospital, and look up thinking about how when I’m at the top of my game, I feel like I could touch God. Hell, I feel like Iama god some days, but I know I’m not. I’m mortal and so are the people here. It’s my job to keep them alive as long as possible.
“Are you going to stand out here all day?” Martina asks, startling me.
“If I do, today hasn’t officially begun yet,” I smile, still looking up.
“If you don’t start, you’ll never know if it works.”
“I’m almost ready,” I tell her. “I’m just trying to get my bearings.”
“All right then,” she places her hand on my shoulder. “I’ll let you freeze your ass off alone.”
“Thank God for friends like you,” I joke.
She bounces a little and rubs her hands up and down her arms. “I love you, Ren, but I love my fingers more.”
My eyes squeeze closed and I exhale through my nose as she runs off.
“Wimp!”
Okay, Serenity, you can do this. You were made for this. You gave up everything to succeed, now do it.
Sounds easy enough.
I step through the glass doors and people move around. I love this place. I don’t love many things, but this hospital is my safe place.
When my life fell apart years ago, it held me together. I took all the pain, disappointment, frustration, and channeled it into my job. No doctor worked harder than me and it paid off. I have rounds to get through, and then . . . I begin my destiny.
Okay, maybe destiny is a bit much, but I’m going to run with it.
Deep in my heart, I have this overwhelming feeling that today will be the day in my life when something magical will happen.
I make my way to my locker, grab my coat, and head out to do rounds before my board meeting. Since Mrs. Whitley is the bright spot in my day, I head there first. She is in the rehabilitative wing since we know there’s nothing that I can do, but I can’t seem to let her off my caseload. Knowing that I could use a little brutal honesty and perspective before the trial begins, I make the trip there.
“Dr. Adams,” she grins. “Today is a good day!”
“It sure is.” I return her warm smile.
“I’m so lucky to have you as my doctor.”
If she was lucky, she wouldn’t be dying. I know that all the cards are stacked against us. Her cancer is advanced, she’s not a young woman, and this isn’t her first go-around either. I was fully aware, but it didn’t stop my heart from becoming attached to her.
And when I lose her, it’ll hurt more than I care to admit.
“Well, I don’t know about luck, but I’m sure glad you found me.”
She pats my hand, and then sighs. “Are you excited?” Her shoulder scrunches up as the excitement fills her voice.
“I am, but . . .”
