Page 34 of A Moment for Us
I sigh as I wipe the salt from my skin. “No. I’m not.”
“At least you’re honest. What’s going on? Is it work?”
If it were, that would be a nice change. “It’s nothing, Mom.”
“So much for the honesty thing.”
My mother and I have always been more like friends than parent and child. When I was in high school, I confided in her just as much as I did with Jessica. It speaks volumes that I haven’t told her anything about what’s been going on with Josh.
However, if there’s anyone in the world I can tell without them judging me, it’s her. Even if she’s very old fashioned about relationships.
“I slept with Josh.”
Her eyes widen. “Parkerson?”
“Yup.”
“And?”
“And?” I mirror her question.
“And . . . how are you? Clearly, the answer is on your face, but I’d like to hear the details. When did it start? How long?”
I fill her in, glossing over just how many times and how fantastic it is. Although, knowing her, the question will come anyway.
“And you’re both okay with this casual thing?”
“I thought I was—or, at least, I was pretending I wasn’t in love with him.”
She nods with a smile. “But you, my darling girl, have a heart that was meant to love.”
“I didn’t think I still loved him. Not like that. I mean, I was fine because I was stupid and young.” Mom takes a bite of a fry, and I can all but hear her calling me a big, fat liar. “I’m really not in love with him. How can I be? He’s been gone for years. I’ve dated and whatnot. It doesn’t matter that I fell for him when I was a stupid girl.”
“Yet here you are.”
“He and I have no misconceptions about what this is,” I say a bit defensively.
Her hands go up, and she shakes her head. “I’m not saying you do. I’m not even saying that what you’re doing is wrong. Hell, I got married young and look where that got me.”
“Mom,” I admonish.
“You. It got me you, and I love you more than anything, but I’ve spent the last twenty-eight years alone. Losing your father was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. I’ll never love another man, and some days, I wish I had dated and found out who I was before I settled down. If I had known I would have only a few years with my forever man, then I would’ve lived a little more before I found him. Maybe you being with Josh is just you living your life as a single woman before your forever comes along.”
That’s the problem. When we’re together, it’s easy to forget that Josh isn’t that guy for me. And the sex is . . . off the damn charts. Then he broke rank and took care of me when I was hurting, and I saw him, really saw him for the man he is.
I got to be in his arms, feel his strength and comfort.
Now, I’m screwed because I want it all.
I want the stupid man and his stupid arms and his stupid heart.
“I just need a few days, Mom. I know what we are and what we’ll never be. It’s . . .”
“Josh.”
“Yes, Josh. I thought we were both talking about the same thing.”
Her head jerks to the side. “No, it’s Josh.”
