Page 67 of Help Me Remember
I’m not explaining it right. “No, I think the man I was dating or engaged to wasn’t the right one. If he was, he’d be here. Not to mention, Isaac was my best friend. I told him everything. Everything. How could he and Addy not know about an engagement? Or even that a guy existed! It’s like I knew it was wrong and hid it.”
“How do you know you didn’t tell Isaac?”
I blink for a second because I don’t know that I didn’t. “Maybe I did and asked him not to tell anyone yet. Maybe he was happy for me. Or, just as possible, he and the guy hated each other and that’s what caused all this. Not that anyone hated Isaac, but there is this feeling in my gut that is telling me the two things are linked. Maybe I was engaged to someone at work and found out he was stealing from the company. Isaac would’ve been who I went to with that information. If I did that, which is likely, and my fiancé found out, it would explain all of it. The attack, the office being trashed and why he’s disappeared. He could’ve been looking for the information I had and the ring, because it all links back to him.” He sits unmoving, watching me work through my thoughts. I turn to him. “And do you know what else? If I loved this guy so much, I wouldn’t be kissing you. Because do you know what I felt just then?”
“No.”
I smile. “I felt so happy. So full of hope for what could be. I want to find Isaac’s killer. I want to know that who did this is behind bars so the security guys can all go home to their families or their next job. On the other hand, I don’t know if I do. What if I can have something new? What if I can find someone else who kisses me and makes my toes curl?” Spencer is quiet, and I worry that I’ve said too much or made him think I somehow believe one kiss means it should be him. “I don’t mean you,” I say quickly. “I wasn’t trying to insinuate . . .”
He lets out a sigh and stands. “I want to help you remember, not allow you to forget.” He walks over and grabs his sweatshirt and notebook.
“Where are you going?” I ask.
He doesn’t turn to face me for a long minute, but when he does, he says, “We all have shit in our past we’d rather forget. I know that better than anyone, but hiding from it doesn’t erase it. Just because you can’t remember, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. So, you choose if you want my help to piece together your life or if you’d rather start this new version of it.”
“What I want is to have some fun and not have everything be so crushing.”
Spencer’s green eyes study me. “Maybe that’s where we’re going wrong with this.”
“What?”
“Maybe we need to listen to everyone else and give your mind a chance to breathe and not force it back. Maybe we shouldn’t be investigating and we should let you live.” Spencer takes a few steps, closing the distance between us. His hand pushes my hair back as his thumb rubs my cheek. “Maybe you need to go on a date.”
Oh. Oh God. “With who?”
He grins. “With me.”
* * *
I am going on a date.
A date with Spencer.
After kissing him. It’s fine. I am totally not freaking out.
Lie.
However, I am dressed in shorts and a T-shirt, which is what he instructed me to wear to wherever he plans to take me. For the first time since all of this happened, I feel a pinch of joy. I’m going on a date . . . with Spencer.
He sends me a text, and then I’m standing at the door waiting.
“Hey,” he says when he gets to the door.
“Hey.”
He hands me a bouquet. “These are for you.”
“Flowers? For our fake date?” I bring them to my nose to hide my blush. Henry never brought me flowers, and I adore that Spencer did.
“Who says this is fake?”
“Well, I did. We’re not dating.”
“We are going on a date. A real one. So, are you ready?” he asks.
“Let me put these in water.” I head into the kitchen, fill up the pitcher, and put the flowers in there. I rush back over to him with a smile. “Ready.”
“Perfect.”
