Page 215 of Keep This Promise
I blink at that last one. “You what?”
“I’m a complicated man. Not for nothing, Holden and I have a few of those in common. No wonder I like the guy.”
I roll my eyes. “What am I doing, Zach?”
“You’re dealing with the hand you were dealt. It’s not like you asked for this to be your life, but that’s the way it goes. Holden cares about you and Eden. I guarantee you that none of this is easy for him either, but that’s the way it goes, right? Believe me, nothing in my life has gone easy, but I’m happy. I’m really fucking happy with Millie. I didn’t think I’d ever say this, but being happy is a choice. I know that sounds shitty, but it’s true. You can keep feeling sorry for yourself, or you can live, and I think Theo sending you here, and all the measures he took to ensure your safety, means that he wanted you to choose right.”
His words hit me in the chest, forcing the air to hang around before I can breathe again. My whole life I have wanted to be happy. I believed it was possible, but I didn’t know how to make that happen. What if he’s right? What if I have been choosing to be unhappy instead?
I turn to thank Zach for his advice, but he has disappeared as though he were never here at all.
I get up and walk back inside, no longer choosing to run away from the possibility of happiness.
* * *
Of course, my plan doesn’t go the way I thought it would. Holden isn’t in Eden’s room because he’s helping with another patient, so I’m sitting here alone, overthinking.
Before I get too far into my thoughts, a nurse enters with a cart. “Good morning. I need to draw some blood and test Eden’s blood sugar again. We’ll do this two more times today.”
“Of course.”
She walks over, pricks her finger, and Eden doesn’t flinch.
“Is it normal for her to still be sleeping like this? She has barely woken.”
“She’s had a rough day, and her body is working hard to recover from the stress it was under. Dr. Baxter and Dr. James are keeping a very close eye on your little girl. If she’s sleeping, I say let her rest.”
“Thank you.”
“Her levels look good. I’ll put this in her chart and let the doctors know your concerns. Dr. Baxter should be in shortly to give you an update.”
She leaves, and I go back to looking outside. The sun is peeking over the mountain range in the east. It is such a lovely landscape here, but with the beaches to the west, it’s like two worlds that don’t quite belong cohabitating in harmony.
If anyone had told me this is where I’d be, I would’ve laughed.
Yet, this is where I am, and as awful as I used to think leaving England would be, it hasn’t been.
I’ve made friends, found a truly wonderful man who happens to be the father of my child, and every avenue for happiness is right in front of me.
I let out a long sigh and hear a soft voice behind me. “A penny for your thoughts?”
Holden.
I shake my head. “I don’t know that they’re worth a penny.”
“Is that because I wouldn’t want to buy them?”
“No. I think you’d probably want the last one at least.”
“That’s a start then.”
I smile, even though he can’t see it. “I was thinking about life and choices. How we make choices and then, good or bad, there are consequences we must face.”
He moves so his chest is against my back. “We don’t have to face what happened this morning right now.”
Maybe not, but I can’t go on pretending it didn’t happen either.
I turn, my eyes finding his in a heartbeat. “Not all consequences are bad, are they? Can we not have something good come from the things we do?”
