Page 78 of Keep This Promise
I turn to thank Zach for his advice, but he has disappeared as though he were never here at all.
I get up and walk back inside, no longer choosing to run away from the possibility of happiness.
* * *
Of course, my plan doesn’t go the way I thought it would. Holden isn’t in Eden’s room because he’s helping with another patient, so I’m sitting here alone, overthinking.
Before I get too far into my thoughts, a nurse enters with a cart. “Good morning. I need to draw some blood and test Eden’s blood sugar again. We’ll do this two more times today.”
“Of course.”
She walks over, pricks her finger, and Eden doesn’t flinch.
“Is it normal for her to still be sleeping like this? She has barely woken.”
“She’s had a rough day, and her body is working hard to recover from the stress it was under. Dr. Baxter and Dr. James are keeping a very close eye on your little girl. If she’s sleeping, I say let her rest.”
“Thank you.”
“Her levels look good. I’ll put this in her chart and let the doctors know your concerns. Dr. Baxter should be in shortly to give you an update.”
She leaves, and I go back to looking outside. The sun is peeking over the mountain range in the east. It is such a lovely landscape here, but with the beaches to the west, it’s like two worlds that don’t quite belong cohabitating in harmony.
If anyone had told me this is where I’d be, I would’ve laughed.
Yet, this is where I am, and as awful as I used to think leaving England would be, it hasn’t been.
I’ve made friends, found a truly wonderful man who happens to be the father of my child, and every avenue for happiness is right in front of me.
I let out a long sigh and hear a soft voice behind me. “A penny for your thoughts?”
Holden.
I shake my head. “I don’t know that they’re worth a penny.”
“Is that because I wouldn’t want to buy them?”
“No. I think you’d probably want the last one at least.”
“That’s a start then.”
I smile, even though he can’t see it. “I was thinking about life and choices. How we make choices and then, good or bad, there are consequences we must face.”
He moves so his chest is against my back. “We don’t have to face what happened this morning right now.”
Maybe not, but I can’t go on pretending it didn’t happen either.
I turn, my eyes finding his in a heartbeat. “Not all consequences are bad, are they? Can we not have something good come from the things we do?”
He looks to Eden. “You just have to see our daughter to know that good can come from what we deem a mistake.”
“And because of Theo’s cock ups, we found you, and she can have her father.”
Holden turns his head back to me. “And can I have more, Sophie? Can I have you?”
I want to say yes. All that talk about living my life and having happiness suddenly doesn’t feel so possible. However, fear is not how I want to live my life. I do not want to be afraid. If I am in danger, if someone does want to kill me, is this the way I want the end to be?
Alone.
