Page 126 of Broken Dreams
My vision blurs as the tears start to form. Damn it. I don’t want to cry. However, the thought of a daily life without Grady breaks my heart, and it shouldn’t, because we aren’t real. All of this, every damn minute of our entire relationship has been a lie.
It’s a fabrication to achieve two goals that now have happened.
“I don’t think I feel that for him,” I tell her.
“No?”
I shake my head, the tear falling, and I turn my head to wipe it. What a lie that is. I steel myself, refusing to shed another one. “I don’t think he’s really ready to build a life with someone else. He has a lot of guilt and ideas of what the future looks like, I’m not sure I’m in them.”
“Oh.”
I nod. “Yeah, he just says things sometimes and...I don’t know. I wanted things to work, but I can’t force them, you know?”
Her smile is sad. “I understand. Still, we can push this off a few weeks, give you time to figure that out.”
“Okay. Let me see what happens when we get back to Sugarloaf. I’ll know in a few days, but I’m leaning more towards making Run to Me what we never could’ve dreamed of.”
She lifts her glass. “To dreams coming true.”
To broken dreams.“To dreams,” I say, clinking our glasses together and feeling my heart ache.
* * *
This night has been such a dichotomy of emotions. One minute we were laughing, having fun, and the next I wanted to weep.
Tonight is almost over.
It’s our last night here.
Our last night together, most likely.
The more I think about a daily life without him, the more I don’t want it. If I have to be miserable, then I might as well do that while building something that will help people. Blakely and I spoke before I left, and I told her I was leaning more towards coming back here. Which made her both happy and sad.
Probably because she knew that if I was coming here, it’s because my relationship with Grady wasn’t what I hoped.
First seed planted toward our breakup has happened.
Grady opens the door and we enter the apartment, heading to the bedroom. I toss my shoes over by the suitcase and feel my entire frame wilt a little.
Neither of us have spoken much. I haven’t had the words to express my thoughts, and even if I did, I don’t know that I could say them.
Not because I’m afraid, but because I’m smart enough to know when they don’t make a difference.
However, if I had a superpower, it would be the ability to freeze time, to steal a few extra minutes of whatever I wanted, and I would use this one.
Grady turns, tie hanging in his hand, top button undone, and his green eyes flash with emotions. “Come here, dove.”
My feet move as though they are at his command and I stand in front of him. “I’m here, now what?”
His arm snakes around my middle, pulling me against him, and slowly his mouth inches towards mine. “Now, I’m going to kiss you for a very long time.”
There are no complaints about that.
I rise to meet him, equally as slowly, savoring each breath we share together before the pressure of his lips meets mine.
This kiss is different than every other one we’ve shared. There’s a longing between us that causes an ache in my chest.
I want this man. I want this man to want me—forever.
