Page 103 of Forgotten Desires

“Yes, I am watching Jett and Elodie while Uncle Grady is trying to stop his tongue from being on fire.”

I translate because there’s no way he’s going to get half of that. “Thank you. I lost her after watching,” Crew admits.

I look over Olivia’s shoulder and Jett is hanging upside down on the monkey bars. Oh boy. I look to Liv.“You may want to get back to your babysitting.”

She turns quickly and runs toward Jett, her hands up trying to stop him before he does something very much like his father would and hurts himself.

Crew rests his hand on my lower back and I look up at him. “You’re learning sign language?”

“I’m trying. I have someone come once a day for about an hour. I’m clearly not all that good, but I’ll get there.”

I face him, wrapping my arms around his waist. “Why?”

“Why do you think?”

I think I know. I mean, I feel like I know. He’s shown me why. “Because Olivia is special to me?”

“Yes, and because what matters to you matters to me. It’s why I did the barn, the float, the trip to Paris, Brynn. All of it is for you.”

God, he’s going to make me cry. My heart is pounding as my chest tightens. “I think tonight, I’m going to have to thank you for a very long time because my appreciation is going to take a while to show.”

He grins. “I’m pretty sure I could do something else if you need more reasons.”

I laugh. “I bet you could.”

* * *

“Yes, fuck!” He screams as I take him deeper in my throat. His fingers are laced through my hair as he pumps his hips. “Don’t touch yourself, Brynn. Keep your hands on my thighs.”

I do as he says, loving when he’s in control. I don’t have to think or worry. It’s a relief to let myself go. He’s always so attentive to me that I trust no matter what we do is going to be good for both of us.

My palms are where he wants them, and he groans as he moves faster. After a minute he slows and glances down at me. “God, seeing you like this, on your knees for me, makes me feel like a king.” He pulls out of my mouth and I gasp. “Lie on the bed, baby, I want to worship you now.”

I lie on my back and Crew hovers above me. He stays like that, staring down at me, and I push my hand through his hair. “What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing. I want to make love to you, Brynlee. Will you let me?”

There is a shift between us. Something that I can’t explain, but can feel. His question hangs between us like fruit on a vine, ready to be picked. I think about what it means, what I’m agreeing to, and as much as I want to say no, to put distance between us, it’s a lie.

My eyes meet his and I nod. “Yes, I want that.”

His lids lower and he rests his forehead to mine. I feel him push into me slowly. When he’s fully seated, his lips move to mine and we breathe each other in.

Neither of us speaks, we allow our bodies to talk for us. Every emotion is expressed through touch from love to fear as we move together. It was so easy to fall back here with him.

So easy to believe that I could keep my heart, which has never been able to listen to my head, in line this time. Crew stole my heart years ago, and I never was the same after. A piece of it always belonged to him, and instead of just letting him keep that piece, he put it back and stole the whole damn thing again.

We make love, because really there is nothing else to call it. His eyes find mine and stay there as tears trickle down my cheeks.

It’s so good.

So much.

So damn hard to think and breathe because I won’t survive this man if he leaves again.

I know he won’t leave in the middle of the night, but after the surgery and the custody hearing, then what?

Where do we go? How do I go on with life knowing that I have felt this way?

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