Page 107 of Forgotten Desires

I let out a heavy sigh and return my gaze to my brothers, who are now focused on me.

Okay, here it goes. I have to say the words and pray that they understand.

“About two years ago, Howie came to me as part of his twelve steps. He asked for forgiveness and offered some explanations, which I’m sure none of you are interested in. I’m well aware that my father is not your favorite person.”

“That’s a fucking understatement,” Rowan says with a huff. “The only thing that man ever did for this family was sign his rights over to Asher when Mom died.”

Rowan, my protective and always-ready-to-fight-anyone for me brother. “It’s the one thing I’m grateful for. I’ve been lucky enough to have been a Whitlock in every sense of the word.” I look to Asher. “You took me in and gave me your last name when Mom died. There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for you. I love you all more than anything. Which is why I am literally sick to have to tell you this.”

Rowan’s body is tense, and he’s going to take this the worst. I hate it. I hate that I’m going to hurt my brother. He’s the one who saved me. Who came in, took Mom and me out, and hit Howie after we were both injured.

So much about that night scarred him.

“Brynn?” Asher asks, drawing my attention back to him.

My jaw trembles and fear takes hold, but Crew squeezes my hand tightly and I soldier on. “Howie came to me in the middle stages of liver failure.”

“No.” Asher crosses his arms over his chest. “I know where this is going and absolutely not, Brynlee.”

I meet his gaze, knowing that this will hurt him, but also knowing I won’t walk away from Howie when he needs me. “In two weeks, I’m going to donate part of my liver to him. We’ve gone through all the tests, and I’m a match.”

Rowan curses, throwing his hands up. “Of course he wants to take more from you!”

“He didn’t ask for this, Rowan. He doesn’t even want me to do it, but I have to.”

“You don’t have to! You don’t have to put yourself at risk for him. The man who broke your heart and never even checked in on you. Fuck him.”

Asher turns to Rowan, putting his hand on his chest. “Stop.”

A tear falls down my cheek as the weight of this secret is lifted. Crew moves himself forward a little, hand still in mine. “I know you’re upset, but you will not yell at my wife and make her cry.”

I step closer so I’m not behind him at all. “It’s fine, Crew. He won’t do anything more than this.”

His blue eyes meet mine. “That’s all he gets.”

I return my gaze to them as Charlotte moves to be beside her husband, wrapping her hands around his arm as he fights to control his breathing. “So you’re doing it no matter what?”

I nod. “He needs this, Rowan. I need to do this.”

Asher walks to me. “You’ve been keeping this from us, why?”

“Because I knew this would hurt you guys, and the last thing I want is that.”

“It’s you that we’re worried about,” Asher tries to assure me.

The emotions I’ve kept buried since all this started come forward. I have been so afraid of telling them. So worried that my brothers wouldn’t be able to see past the hatred they have, and I’ve hated myself for that.

They’re not cruel. They’re wonderful and loving and supportive.

All they’ve ever wanted is for me to be happy. They’ve given so much, and I knew, down in the depths of my soul, this would ultimately cause them pain.

I release Crew’s hand and move to Asher. “I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

He shakes his head. “Brynlee, you’ve never disappointed us. While I hold very . . . unkind thoughts toward Howie, I wouldn’t expect you to do anything other than give him whatever he needs. You’re not like us, a bunch of hardened assholes.”

“You think you’re assholes, but you’re not.”

Charlotte snorts. “I think I can attest to different here.”

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