Page 114 of Forgotten Desires

I’m not even sure why we’re having this fight. Tomorrow, I could lose her. So many things could happen, and my life could be altered forever. Instead of making love or holding her in my arms, we’re fighting about my ex-wife and her ridiculous request.

It’s not happening. I’m not going to leave her at the damn hospital for anything less than a life-or-death emergency.

Kimberly will be here in the morning to hang out with Layla. She’s going to take her shopping and who knows what other mischief she’ll find so I can focus on my wife.

“You’re not canceling and I’m not going to meet with my ex-wife when my wife is in surgery.”

Brynn groans and steps toward me. “What were my rules?”

“What?”

“My rules when we got married. What were they?” she asks again.

“I don’t fucking know, something about not loving you and not having sex with you, which, I’d like to point out lasted a whole week.”

She glares at me. “Well, you’re about to be on a six-week sabbatical coming up and maybe we’ll start that today.”

I smirk. “So you are having the surgery?”

I’m pretty sure if she could kill me, she would. “Anyway,” she sneers the word. “I’m pretty sure you had a rule too. It was that Layla comes first. Always. Layla needs you to go meet with her mother and get custody. She needs to know that in three weeks, a judge won’t be off his meds and decide that she’s better situated with her mother. You need to get that done, Crew. So, tomorrow, you’re going to meet with Jacqueline and get her to sign the fucking papers so I can recover without the stress of it!”

I step closer to her. “She does come first, Brynn, but so do you.”

“You can’t have two firsts. You have to prioritize her.”

It doesn’t work that way. I need them both. I will never forgive myself if I’m not at the hospital and something happens.

My hand lifts and I push her red hair back, holding my fingers against her neck. “There’s no guarantee she’ll sign it. For all I know, this is a game because she knows you have your surgery. She wants me to leave you and go to her. I can’t do it, Brynlee. You’re asking me to leave you and negotiate a deal that I doubt will even happen.”

Her palm rests on my chest, right over my heart. “What if it could?”

“We could go back and forth about possibilities for hours. If Jacqueline wants to meet me, she could’ve done it today, or she waits until the day after. I’m not going to leave that fucking hospital until I see your brown eyes open and you tell me you’re okay.” A tear slips down her cheek and I brush it away. “Why are you crying?”

“I’m scared.”

The confession breaks my fucking heart. “Of what, Bee?”

“What if I don’t wake up? What if we don’t get Layla and we have to send her back to her mother? What if my father rejects my liver and he doesn’t survive? What if my business tanks because I’m spending weeks recovering? What if . . . what if . . . what if all of this was for nothing?”

I cup her cheeks, holding her face steady. “You will wake up because I need you to. We’ll figure out a way to make sure Layla never leaves us. I wish I could give you some reassurance about your father, but we have to trust the powers that be. As for your business, it’s already growing and thriving. If there’s anything I’m good for, it’s saving failing companies, so don’t worry, I’ll step in. As for this being for nothing, God, Bee, don’t you see that it’s already everything? I got to live with you as my wife. I’ve been able to have you, hold you, kiss you, love you in ways I only dreamed of. Even if we don’t get Layla, you’ll have been able to give your father this gift and it’ll never have been for nothing.”

She rises up on her toes, bringing her lips to mine. “When all of this settles, I want us to talk about us and where we go.”

I don’t need to wait for that, I already know. When I go to open my mouth, she covers it with her hand.

“After, Crew. Let’s get through the surgery and the custody before we make any decisions. For tonight, I just want to lie in your arms and feel safe.”

* * *

Neither of us slept. We made love, and cuddled, then made love again, and now I’m watching the inky blue sky turn bright, wishing I could slow time.

“I wish we had another week to prepare for this,” Brynn says as she draws shapes on my chest with her fingertips.

“It wouldn’t change the fact that you’re nervous.”

Brynn turns so she can rest her hand on my chest and then her chin. “It would just give us time. I wanted to take Layla horseback riding and get her more comfortable in her room. Now we’re going to spend weeks away from Sugarloaf, and?—”

I put my finger to her lips. “Stop. Layla loves the cottage, it’s all she talks about. You’re not going to die, so you can take her horseback riding when you’re healed, and we can go to Sugarloaf as soon as you can manage the ride there.”

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