Page 123 of Forgotten Desires

I’ve never been any other way. I’ve always had to do it on my own or it didn’t get done. I take care of others. I’m the one that fixes the broken things because there’s a joy in doing that. I’m not sure I even know what it looks like to ask for help.

However, if there’s any person in the world that I trust to take care of me, it’s Crew.

I look up into his blue eyes and through the unshed tears, I allow my vulnerability to come through. “Will you help me?”

“I’ll do anything for you. What do you need?”

I sniff, my hands holding onto his wrists. “I feel so greasy, and it hurts to lift my arms. Will you … wash my hair?”

His lips find mine in the softest, most tender kiss and he brushes his nose against mine. “Just tell me how.”

We stay like this for a beat and then he releases me. “I’ll get in the tub then.”

Crew helps me get undressed and covers the wound with the plastic to avoid it getting wet. Once I’m seated in the tub, he wraps a towel around me so I don’t get too cold.

I sit here as he carefully pours warm water on my head, soaking the strands and then I hand him my shampoo.

Slowly he starts to massage the soap, rubbing in the most delicious circles against my scalp. I close my eyes, letting the sensation breathe life into me. It’s like heaven and hell at the same time because it feels so damn good but I know I can only have this.

“Please don’t stop,” I beg.

His voice is deeper than before. “I’ll do this everyday if I know it makes you feel good.”

It feels good physically, but also to my soul. This is such a basic human need, to clean yourself, and to have someone do it for you. Crew literally rolled up his shirt sleeves to take care of me and those damn tears are back.

“It does, but it’s more than that,” I admit.

“More than what?”

“You didn’t sign up for this and I appreciate that you’re doing it no matter what.”

He pauses for a second and then lets out a long sigh. “One day you’ll stop fighting the truth that’s in front of you.” I go to ask what he means by that, but he speaks before I can. “Lean your head back, Bee.”

I comply, because I’m a big chicken shit and he rinses the shampoo out before massaging the conditioner in.

“You know, if this billionaire thing doesn’t work out, you could become a hairdresser,” I say, wanting to change the subject.

Crew chuckles. “I’ll keep that in mind as a backup. The bottle says to let it sit?”

I slowly turn my head to see him. “For just a minute.”

“Lean back on me, love.”

His arms reach around the front of me, around my belly and I rest my wet, soapy head on his shoulder. “I’m ruining your shirt.”

“I don’t give a damn. You could ruin me, and I let you—gladly.”

I think he’s already ruined me, but I don’t say that. “I would never.”

“I know, that’s why I’d let you. Are you comfortable?”

My eyes close because I’m eternally exhausted and let out a mewling noise. I’m so damn comfortable and I could sleep like this. The security I have with his arms around me is the best place I could be right now.

He laughs softly against my hear. “Don’t fall asleep, Bee, we need to wash this out.”

I yawn. “Right. No sleeping.”

Crew kisses the side of my face and then pulls back, forcing me to use my waning strength as he rinses the conditioner.

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