Page 127 of Forgotten Desires

He walks over to his briefcase and grabs the paper, handing it to me.

I think I might be sick. All of it. Every single thing is true. It talks about how he came to my brother’s wedding and I was blindsided by him being there. Details about us in college and how he married Jacqueline after lying to me about his real name. Line after line is filled with truths about our life and then the bombshell about how we married because his lawyer suggested it.

How we lied to everyone to avoid the scandal of the photo of us together and that I was in need of medical insurance and money to pay for my father’s transplant.

“Brynn. You look pale, please sit.”

My heart begins to race and I toss the papers down. “How could anyone know this?”

“I’m working incredibly hard to find out.”

I can feel the panic I had pushed down start to rise and my breathing accelerates. “God, my brothers, my friends, everyone is going to know I lied and that you don’t even love me!”

“I do love you!” he yells, coming closer. “I love you, Brynlee. I have since the moment I met you ten years ago. You didn’t want to talk about this before and I let you have that space because you asked, but don’t you dare assume I don’t love you. Everything I’ve done is because I love you. Please, sit down and calm down. You can’t get upset like this.”

Every part of my head is warring with my heart. Every man I’ve trusted has betrayed me. Every man I’ve loved has left me. Even him.

Even the man standing before me that I love so much I ache for him.

He broke my heart.

He left me.

He lied to me.

And right now, I’m feeling so many emotions.

“If you wanted to end things, you could’ve just told me. You didn’t have to do it this way!”

“End it? Are you insane? I don’t want to end it.”

I don’t even know if that’s true. After my surgery, I thought we’d have the talk because our agreement was that once he had Layla and he took care of me after my surgery, we’d walk away. When nothing was said, I just . . . I worried.

Sure, I could’ve brought it up, but honestly, I didn’t want to hurt more than I was physically.

But I guess we’ll have it out now.

I stand behind the chair, using it for support as I’m starting to tire and need to sleep. “And what happens from here with us? What do we tell everyone, because that article has made it impossible?”

“What do you mean?”

“I have spent my entire life waiting for someone to choose me. To make me their first choice. I’ve given my heart to men who have thrown me aside for whatever their reasons were. Jonathan used me for what he wanted, and I found a way through it. Howie always went for the drink, and I learned to accept it. You chose to leave me, without giving me a reason, and I got over it and here I am now, married to you and still not sure if you choose me.” Tears stream down my face and I start to sway, but I hold on. “I’m going to say this next part, and I don’t want you to respond right away. You say you love me now, and everything inside of me is screaming to believe you, but you said that last time too.” I step toward him, my hand resting on his chest. “I love you. I have always chosen you. I have to pee, when I get back, we’ll finish.”

“Brynn,” he calls me, but I shake my head because I need to get to the bathroom.

“I’ll be right back. Just think about what I said. I need . . . I can’t.”

I walk to the bathroom slowly and the tears keep coming. I use my hand against the wall to keep me up as I keep moving down the hall.

“Brynlee! Brynn!”

I hear him call, but God, everything hurts.

My breathing starts to become labored and I call for Crew, but I don’t know if I get it out because everything goes black.

thirty

CARSON

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