Page 17 of Forgotten Desires

She nods once. “Understood.”

My driver, Cliff, pulls up and exits the car to open my door. “I’m going to walk,” I say before he can get near.

“Very well, sir.”

My mind is spinning in a thousand directions, none of them leaving me feeling much optimism. I hoped, even thought, that maybe today would go somewhat well. I never thought we’d end up meeting again. Although, that’s probably exactly what Jacqueline hoped for. She increased her request for more money, stating Layla needed better care.

What the hell a four-year-old needs sixty-thousand dollars a month for will never make sense to me.

But it’s not the money. I’d give her every penny in my bank account if it meant I could have Layla with me. I don’t get to kiss her goodnight or see her run to me when I walk in the door.

What my lawyer said is right, I work a lot. I do it because I have nothing to come home to. There’s nothing forcing me to rush to my penthouse. It’s cold there, and maybe that’s something I need to think about. How to make it a home. Somewhere that Layla can feel comfortable, although she never seems unhappy with me when we’re together.

Still, I can give her more.

I want to give her more.

I want to give her the life I dreamed of, the one I spoke of ten years ago, when I believed I could ever have something like I had with the woman I walked away from. The only woman I would consider having as someone steady in my life . . . but I can’t do that to her again.

five

BRYNLEE

“We need to do a few more tests and if everything goes well, we’ll be ready to go with the liver transplant.” The doctor smiles warmly as she places her hands on her desk. “Do you have any questions?”

My father reaches over to take my hand. “My concern is my daughter. What is her recovery going to be like being a donor?”

“It really will depend on Brynlee’s body, but she’s young, very healthy, and seems to have a great support system. She’ll spend about a week in the hospital, then after that it’s a very slow ease back into normal life. I usually estimate around six to eight weeks until you feel back to normal, but I won’t sugarcoat this. It can take six months before you are able to do strenuous activities.”

“Does that mean caring for my animals? I have Second Chances Sanctuary and those animals mean the world to me.”

She gives me a soft smile. “You’ll need to find someone to help care for them.”

“And how soon will we do the surgery since we know I’m a match now?” I ask.

“I’d say in the next four to six weeks. Your father’s faring well, so this isn’t a life-or-death situation, but I don’t want to get to the point that he’s in end-stage liver failure, and also we can’t delay much past our eligibility date. You have a little over three weeks until you will have been sober for twelve months. As soon as we meet that date, I would like to move forward with the transplant.”

I glance to my father, who inhales deeply. He’s been trying hard and doing so well, but he relapsed a year ago, and I’m so afraid he’ll do it again. “I’m so proud of you, Dad. We’re so close.”

He squeezes my hand. “It’s a battle, but I won’t lose this time.”

I hope not. As much as my past with my father is tumultuous, he’s still my father and I don’t want to see him die. If I can do this, help him, then I’ll at least know I did everything. However, the next few weeks are up to him.

“So, about a month or so?”

“Yes. Have you had a chance to speak with the financial team regarding the costs?”

Yeah, that part is a huge issue. Since I don’t have a job, I don’t have insurance. Howie definitely doesn’t have insurance. His medical costs are being paid for by a charity and the transplant center, but mine can’t be covered in full. I have to come up with almost $300,000 for my care and the surgery costs.

Which I don’t have.

Not that I ever had that, but I spent my life’s savings a few weeks ago when I started my company.

“I’m not sure what to do,” I admit. “I’ll find a way, but right now I don’t have a clear idea where to get the money.”

Howie coughs a little. “You shouldn’t have to pay for this. If I didn’t screw up last time and start drinking, everything would’ve been covered.”

“Dad, it’ll be fine. I’ll figure out a way.”

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