Page 78 of Forgotten Desires

“Whatever you want, Brynn.”

He may not think I can see what that costs him, but I do. Crew is used to being the one calling the shots, but tonight, he’s not fighting me.

“Sit back.”

Without pause, we move so we’re both on our knees. I pull his shirt up, sliding my hands along his sides. I want him to be undressed as well. I need to feel his skin against mine. “Take your clothes off, Crew.”

He reaches up with one arm, pulling the shirt over his head and throwing it to the side. I take him in, the way his body has only become more defined, more masculine. My eyes roam from his shoulders down to his chest, looking at the tattoos on his body that weren’t there before. There’s a Celtic moon over his chest with intricate knots and then something on his ribs.

“What’s the moon for?” I ask.

“Layla means night.”

I smile at that. “And what’s over there?” I point to his ribs.

Crew hesitates for a moment and then turns, lifting his arm. My heart stops and I feel my chest tightening. I try hard not to let my mind make anything out of it because it could mean absolutely nothing.

When I meet his eyes, I see the emotion there. “A ladybug for Layla,” I say, and then I stop, trying to get my breathing under control. “And a bee.”

“For you.”

My jaw trembles and I can do nothing but look at him. He has a bee on his ribs, next to a symbol for his daughter. I lift my finger, moving it along the black outline of a detailed bee with parts of a honeycomb around it. It’s beautiful and angry at the same time, like a part of what we might have been.

The sound of my heartbeat echoes in my chest. I don’t know what to say. How do I reconcile all of this? He has a tattoo . . . of a bee . . .

All of these truths slam into me, knocking the bricks down faster than I can put them up. The house, the coop, the tattoo, the way he looks at me, I can’t breathe.

“Crew . . .”

He shakes his head. “Not now, Brynlee. Now I just want to kiss you, make love to you, hold you in my damn arms again and not leave in the middle of the night. We can talk about all the other shit tomorrow.” His hand moves to my cheek. “Can we do that?”

The part of me that needs answers to everything rebels at the thought of letting this go. And yet, I don’t want to talk anymore either.

I rest my hands on his chest. “No more talking,” I promise.

“Unless you want to tell me the things you want me to do to you or how good it feels or you want to beg for more.” He kisses me again, thwarting my ability to talk.

I work to remove his pants, wanting everything he promised and nothing between us.

Carefully, he lays me down and rests on his side. “You’re so beautiful, Brynlee. Nothing compares to you. I’ve imagined this so many times in my head and this is a million times better than my wildest dreams.”

I push back the hair that fell in his eyes. “And what did you dream?”

He grins. “I’d probably scare you off. The things I want . . . the ways I want to make you come apart . . .”

There are so many things in my life that have gone wrong. People I’ve trusted who hurt me or situations I found myself in where I made the wrong decisions.

My father, Jonathan, and even Crew.

I’ve struggled with trust more than anything because I’ve failed so many times.

But then I think about the coop. About how he promises me he’ll be there. How he cares so much for his daughter.

And the bee on his side.

I look into his blue eyes, seeing the man who is willing to do whatever I ask. I know what I want.

I rest my hand on his cheek. “Show me what you’ve dreamed of.”

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