Page 2 of All Too Well
“That’s so sweet.”
I wish I could thank her. I wish I could ask her a hundred questions, have another slice of her cake or cookies. So many things that Isabelle will no longer be able to give to this world.
“She thought you were special,” he says softly.
“Most people do.”
“Most people are right.”
“Are you sayingyouthink I’m special?” I tease.
“No, I think you’re Painsley.”
I huff, hating that stupid nickname more than ever. I’m not a pain, I’m ... unique and completely lovable.
Instead of going at him, like I normally do, I let the jab go and return to resting my head on his shoulder.
He takes another long drink from the bottle, and I can feel the sadness coming off him in waves.
I wish I could fix this. I would take all this hurt and carry it if it meant he wouldn’t be in this much pain.
“Lach, you don’t have to do this all on your own, you know? We’re here for you, we love you.”
He scoffs. “I’m always doing it on my own. Always.”
“That’s not true,” I say softly. “You have support.”
“You don’t get it, Ainsley. I do this on my own. All of it. I’m raising Rose alone. I was alone when my father deployed all the damn time and Mom would shut herself off because he left her.”
The order of that statement is a little off, and also very skewed, but he’s grieving and drunk.
However, Lachlan’s father didn’t leave. In fact, their marriage was one that I always admired. Two people who loved each other so deeply that when his father had to deploy with the navy, she felt his loss in her soul.
Where my parents barely tolerate each other and I’m pretty sure my mother is going to leave as soon as I’m done with college.
“Okay, let’s say that’s true. That doesn’t change the fact that you have people who love you and want to be here for you.”
He drinks more and then places the bottle on the ground. “I would never abandon the people I love.”
“I know.”
“You can’t know. You can’t see it. You can’t understand that all I want is to be a good man, better than my father. To give the people in my life stability, and all I do is fuck that up.”
He’s loyal beyond measure. When Lachlan cares about someone, he does it with his whole heart. It’s what made him the incredible father he is. He walked away from a chance at playing professional football and became a firefighter in a small town in Virginia because he wanted to give Rose the life he never had.
One where your father isn’t constantly absent because of his naval career.
I reach forward, resting my hand on his arm. “That’s not true. You’re not fucking anything up. You’re an amazing dad to Rose. She adores you.”
“She’s two.”
“And she loves you, Lachlan.”
He gets to his feet, pacing in the small space. “Because she doesn’t know any better.”
He’s not making sense. “Well, I know better. I know who you are, and there is nothing but goodness inside of you.”
He laughs once and drops his head back, staring up at the sky. “You wouldn’t say that if you knew what I thought half the time.”
